


Conflagration

by sesiran (Ayri)



Category: Not Safe For Fanders - Fandom, Sanders Sides (Web Series), Thomas Sanders Shorts (Web Series)
Genre: Accents, Alcohol, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Human, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Anger, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders Has Issues, Arguing, Bad Parenting, Breathing issues, Cigarettes, Clove Cigarettes, Depression, Derogatory Language, Dissociation, Drama & Romance, Drinking, Drinking Games, Drinking to Cope, Drugs, Drunk Sex, Drunken Flirting, Drunken Kissing, Edgeplay, Embarrassment, Escapism, Everyone Is Gay, Exhibitionism, Flirting, Food, Frottage, Gay Panic, Gay Sex, Hand Jobs, Hangover, Heavy Angst, Hurt Logic | Logan Sanders, Hurt/Comfort, Hypnosis, Insecure Logic | Logan Sanders, Internalized Homophobia, Kissing, Logic | Logan Sanders Angst, Logic | Logan Sanders Has Panic Attacks, Logic | Logan Sanders Needs a Hug, Logic | Logan Sanders-centric, M/M, Making Out, Marijuana, Mild Kink, Mild Painplay, Multi, Neck Kissing, Negative Self Language, Non-Graphic Violence, Oral Sex, Overstimulation, POV Logic | Logan Sanders, Panic Attacks, Parental Issues, Partying, Porn With Plot, Recreational Drug Use, Rough Sex, Sad Logic | Logan Sanders, Self-Acceptance, Self-Destruction, Self-Doubt, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, Self-Worth Issues, Semi-Public Sex, Sex, Shameless, Sleep Deprivation, Sleep | Remy Sanders is a Little Shit, Smoking, Smut, Suicidal Thoughts, Tags Contain Spoilers, Threesome - M/M/M, Underage Drinking, Unreliable Narrator, hypnokink, imposter syndrome, losleepxiety
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-21
Updated: 2021-02-17
Packaged: 2021-03-08 03:14:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 34,499
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26588713
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ayri/pseuds/sesiran
Summary: He was supposed to be good at school and at the top of the class. He was supposed to have the best grades and act poised and composed. He was supposed to solve his own problems and never ask for help. He was also supposed to be straight. But things didn’t have a way of working out for Logan. And maybe he didn’t feel like dealing with his issues, either, so why bother? He clearly wasn’t supposed to be in college anyway.18+ Only.
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Logic | Logan Sanders/Sleep | Remy Sanders
Comments: 108
Kudos: 117





	1. scintillation

**Author's Note:**

> I’m making the porn and major trigger content opt-outable with these symbols:  
>  At the start of a sex scene: ►  
>  At the end of a sex scene: ◄  
>  At the start of intentional self-harm: □  
>  At the end of intentional self-harm: ■
> 
> Simply use the Finder function in your browser to find the end symbol once you see a start symbol. Conversely, if you just want smut and no angst, you can look for the starting symbol. I’m not here to judge.  
>  Much of the story is sensitive material. **Please read the tags**.
> 
> This was originally intended to be whump with a happy ending but I realized Logan and Remy had other ideas and asked Ark their opinion on what I should do. So officially, Ark is at fault for the smut. But this also isn’t the first time I wrote angst-porn during a mental break down, so, whoops? Ark is my very slow beta for this story who submits allosexual nonsense for me because like what the fuck are the allos up to I don't know I just write angst.
> 
> 🔥 Conflagration Playlist 🔥

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Logan has had a bad semester.

Logan held his head at his disk, feeling empty. The laptop screen showing the third failed test in a row on his college website. He allegedly was skilled at academia. He glanced at the monitor and the failing grade stared right back. The number was boring a hole into his soul. It hurt to look at. This was all he was useful for. He wasn’t good at anything else. He didn’t understand what he was supposed to do. He didn’t know his own place in the universe. They expected him to figure out these factors. 

His parents will not be pleased if they discovered he had three failing grades. That statement phrased it mildly, since Logan didn’t even want to think about what his parents might do if they found out. Logan was struggling here. Things were just more complex when he was away from home and his original schedule and his comfort zone. He couldn’t concentrate as effectively when he studied. The material was heavier, too. It took longer to process and understand.

Logan didn’t have to study much in high school. He was in honors classes and outside of research for projects and homework that he seldom had to review. He had leisure time where he enjoyed reading and long walks and talking with his friend. He was even working on a mystery novel of his own. But now he was drowning.

He had to put sincere effort into studying now. His methods were lacking, and he had to make adjustments to his notes. That required further time expenditure. There was an unprecedented amount of homework and essays. Logan spent most of his free moments reading feverishly. He had no spare moment to read. He had no friends or the chance to establish any. His best friend for all of high school had been responding to messages less and less. Patton had come out, made new companions, and even found a boyfriend. Logan wanted to be happy for him. He genuinely did. But Patton was his life preserver, and he floated away, and now Logan was in the middle of the sea, trying to swim, and nobody taught him how. 

Logan shut his laptop screen. He couldn’t take his failure staring at him anymore. His head dropped from his hands and fell to the desk with a thud. It felt right, so Logan dropped his face to the surface a few times. The action was soothing despite the pain. The dorm room door opened and Logan sat bolt upright and straightened his papers that shifted across the surface while he bashed his skull against the desk. 

His roommate came in with his companion. He wasn’t opposed to them talking on their side of the room normally. His roommate Virgil was shy, and he always gave Logan his space. But it pained Logan that his shy roommate was already so close with someone else. It took 3 weeks for Virgil to even greet Logan _verbally_. Logan must have been a particularly unlikeable person.

Logan was incapable of considering making a new acquaintance, he had so much school work. How was Virgil not struggling? He panicked before every examination. He didn’t study nearly as frequently as Logan did. How could Virgil manage when he couldn’t? Logan narrowed his eyes and glared at them for a moment before picking up his keys off the desk. 

He stood up suddenly and dragged his keys loudly off of his desk before shoving them in his pocket. Virgil jumped and looked concerned at the sudden motion, but seemed to accept it and faced back to Toby. Logan left the room without saying goodbye and closed the door much louder than strictly necessary before locking up and leaving. Logan pushed his hands in his pockets as he marched down the hallway as if to his own funeral. 

He took the stairs out of habit and paused in the lobby of his dorm. He didn’t have any inkling where he was headed. He rarely left their room without a plan of action to best budget his time. He wasn’t even supposed to leave now. His schedule dictated that he review, shower, watch an episode of Doctor Who, the only enjoyable thing on his slate, and then go to bed. Logan never exited the dorm after he returned from dinner to avoid distractions. But his timetable was not helping. Logan simply was not as smart as he thought he was. He was a fake. He was a failure. And no quantity of study or effort could fix that. 

Logan headed out the front of the lobby, just opting to walk in any direction. It didn’t matter, really. He was a fuck-up. He had empirical evidence. One failed test, he could perhaps forgive. Two failed tests and his parents will probably disown him. But three? Logan wished he could disown himself. The thought was extremely boorish. It was impossible to renounce yourself. Such a senseless thought reaffirmed the knowledge that he was a failure. Logan kicked at the sidewalk and knocked, a pebble clattering across the way while he walked. 

He walked off campus and through the streets in no time at all. It looked as if he was headed into a neighborhood. He didn’t have any reason to go there, but he also didn’t have a reason to avoid it, so he kept on his meaningless path. A straight line would be easier to come back from considering he didn’t bring his phone to utilize his GPS to return to the dorms. 

Brightly glowing Halloween decorations littered the quiet suburban streets. The power expenditure on lighting these childish monstrosities was a waste. Logan glared at a giant pumpkin actively being inflated by a pump and illuminating the entire side of the street. He paused and deliberated on just shutting it off. Surely the noise was a disturbance to the neighbors. How could people be so inconsiderate?

The fan droned on and the sound of feet hitting the pavement ran up to him. Logan stared curiously at the tall man in the black leather bomber jacket and snug jeans. What did he want? The man smiled lackadaisically as he sauntered up to Logan.

“Hey cap, you headed to the house party, too?” He grinned widely at Logan. The stranger had a rich drawl and an interesting cadence in his speech. Logan looked over the sudden intruder to his sour thoughts curiously. Why was he wearing sunglasses at night? He looked stylish, however, in the outfit and his particularly shiny mid-length coils. Logan thought he seemed harmless and perhaps even intriguing. Interacting with him was better than misplaced scowling at Halloween decorations. 

“Yes,” Logan nodded impulsively. He would never attend a party. He should never waste his time at one. He was going to go through with it, anyway. “Good evening,” He greeted with a small nod. 

“Loosen up, slut, we’re goin’ to a party,” The guy slapped him in the back and Logan stiffened at the touch. Logan glared at him for a moment, but the man started moving forward and appeared unaffected. “Fashionably late or up studyin’?” He said airily. Logan followed him along the sidewalk. 

“Guess,” Logan said glibly. He didn’t want to acknowledge it. His brain decided avoidance was how it wanted to deal with this turn of events, and who was he to argue with it? His damned brain never wanted to listen to him, either way.

“Studyin’ prolly,” He shrugged, but he never dropped that impish grin. “Had enough?” He asked playfully. 

“Perhaps for a lifetime,” Logan sighed and shook his head, his shoulders slightly curling in.

“Oh, mood, girl. My normal party friend is Audi tonight. You want to tag in?” He asked lazily and slid his hands into his jacket pockets. 

“You don’t even know my name,” Logan looked at him incredulously. 

“You’re _clearly_ a burnt-out nerd. Other than drinkin’ too much, I’m sure you’re safer than half the guys at these kinds of parties,” He wrapped his arm around Logan’s shoulder. Normally he’d toss his arm off, but he just didn’t have the fight in him tonight. He _was_ a burnt-out nerd. A bright bulb scorched out of its usefulness and destined to be broken in a dumpster. 

“Logan,” He supplied his name sourly. “You are correct,” He added curtly, feeling somewhat defeated by the admission. There was something incredibly appealing about drinking too much at the moment. He had heard stories of the effects of alcohol that were enticing. 

“Remy,” The man flashed a cheshire grin and leaned towards Logan. 

“I look forward to working with you,” Logan deadpanned and Remy laughed cynically and shook his head. 

“You’re a fuckin’ hoot, I can’t wait to see you drunk,” He said and squeezed Logan’s shoulders. It surprised Logan when Remy didn’t let go and they continued the walk. This style of casual closeness had become foreign to Logan. He hadn’t realized how long it had been since he had human contact. It used to be very normal with Patton, but Logan was hyper-aware of Remy’s arm on him. 

They closed in on the house party. It was very obvious considering the street was full of cars and the front door was wide open. Remy propelled Logan right in with his hand on his back into the home, past a pair of people laughing on the porch. The domicile appeared to be inhabited only by college students, by the state of disrepair. The couch was in tatters and the furniture was so far beyond second-hand it was likely in its fifth or sixth iteration of ownership. There was a keg in a kiddie pool in the middle of the living room that Remy pushed him directly toward. He shoved Logan in-between another two individuals talking animatedly next to the keg. 

“Clear out, sluts, this area is for drinkin’, not chattin’,” Remy said cattily and they huffed and moved away. Remy reached for a plastic cup and filled one up from the keg and started ‘shotgunning’ it right away. Logan eyeballed Remy for a minute before mimicking him and filling a red cup with the beer from the keg. Logan sniffed it before taking a sip and gagged for a moment. 

“This is repulsive,” Logan hissed and scraped his tongue with his teeth. 

“It’s free, babe,” Remy chuckled and dispensed himself another drink. It was flawless logic. Logan exhaled and downed the drink as fast as possible just to get it over with. He also dispensed himself a second cup and followed Remy into the kitchen. He assumed sticking nearby was part of his duties as a party friend, though he had no idea what the actual rules were. There were people playing beer pong on the kitchen table that Logan watched curiously while Remy raided the freezer for ice that he dropped in his drink. 

He headed through the rest of the kitchen to the backyard where there was a fire pit and another keg. There was a scrawled reminder not to yell outside and make the neighbors call the cops. It didn’t sound like people were heeding the request, but it was significantly quieter out here than it was inside. There were people sitting in a circle on the lawn with their cups between their legs and counting up. 

“Scoot, bitches,” Remy said and motioned between two people. 

“Hey!” Some of the encircled people cheered and made room for them to join. Remy motioned for Logan to join him. They were counting around in a circle, the next person just counting up the next number. “Seventeen,” Remy supplied. 

“Eighteen,” Logan said, curious what this game was. When the person a few individuals over counted to twenty-one aloud, they declared that people in glasses drink on the number five. Then the next person counted the number one. Logan drank when he heard five called out. The game was very straightforward, even though he’d had literally no primer to join in playing. It seemed to be an unspoken guideline to keep the rules simple and to tell newcomers when to imbibe. Logan was told to drink on twelve because he was a dude. He found that kind of presumptuous. Drinking this vile urine-colored liquid was much easier when direct orders advised him to do so, though, so he didn't care that much. 

Remy leaned back and laughed while they played, sometimes pushing Logan when there was a rule they shared consuming because of. Remy even got up to gather them both a refill when they had emptied their cups. He didn’t go inside for ice this time. He just deposited the cup back in Logan’s hands, then plopped back down onto the ground. Remy had made a decree that people in any shade of black drank when people joined or left. An attempt to get himself drunk, perhaps. Logan leaned on his legs and enjoyed the warm, fuzzy feeling in his head. 

Logan unbuttoned the buttons on his polo to cool off a smidgeon. Remy looked over and smiled at him with a small wink as they counted around the circle. The simple game structure and someone there to keep an eye out for him helped him loosen up more than he had in months. He laughed at inane jokes, made small talk, and smiled so hard his face hurt. When it was his turn to say the number twenty-one he passed a law that when they counted to fifteen, everyone had to whisper cheers in any language. Plenty of people found it amusing, and laughter burst out after they uttered various congratulations. Logan was laughing at, well, nothing, when Remy yanked on his arm. 

“I want some water and t’fuckin’ dance, y’comin’?” Remy asked, his drawl having deepened over the time span of the party game. Logan nodded brightly, downing the rest of his cup and heading inside with Remy. There was a water dispenser in the kitchen that Remy cleared a path to and they both drank 2 cups’ worth and abandoned their cups before Remy followed the beat upstairs to what appeared to be the master bedroom, though there was no bed in it. Just a gaggle of drunken college students bouncing to the pulse of a dance remix of a pop song he didn’t recognize. 

“I don’t know how to dance,” Logan said much louder than intended as Remy pulled him inside. 

“Y’think any of them do?” Remy laughed cynically and started dancing against Logan, who felt his entire face grow hot as he stood there in bafflement for a moment. He looked around nervously. Not only were people not paying attention to him, but they assuredly did not know how to dance. Logan tried his best to start moving to the beat similarly to Remy, who, in Logan’s humble and definitely drunk opinion, was an excellent dancer. 

They danced a few songs together, Remy moving boldly while Logan remained reserved in his motions, as hard as he attempted to emulate Remy. It was an agreeable way to relieve restless energy, and Logan enjoyed himself more than he thought he would. He ended up getting winded faster than Remy and found himself leaning against the wall for respite. He was somewhat dizzy from the motion, rather than being out of endurance. He relished the breather, regardless. Logan kept an eye out for Remy’s safety while he took a breather to let his stomach settle. 

Logan wasn’t sure what he was doing here. He should be home trying to fix the gaps in his knowledge and doing extra credit to turn his grades around. Attempts to fix his marks after the failed tests required lots of personal investment. He shouldn’t be here doing things he never intended to do in his life, wasting his time like this. Logan gripped his torso and watched Remy dance. Remy was good at this. He was so confident and strong. Remy was getting danced against by another guy, though. And Remy didn’t look pleased about that fact, based on the scowl plastered on his face. Logan glared at the other guy, but he didn’t get the picture. 

“Bitch, ex-fuckin’-scuse me? Did I say y’could fuckin’ touch my ass?” Remy spat with a glare at the stranger. Logan bolted upright and immediately went to go shove his way between Remy and the absolute prick hole who was touching him.

“What, short-stack? Look at him, he wants it!” He shot bitterly, motioning to Remy. Logan didn’t even think, he just clocked the guy right in the fucking face. A small chorus of pained hollers and amused whooping broke out. The man stumbled backward and cursed, holding his nose and glowering at Logan while Logan shook out his wrist twice. 

“It’s _okay_ that I punched you in the face because you _clearly_ fucking _wanted it!_ ” Logan growled back and Remy took his arm and dragged him out of the bedroom, but not before Logan kicked the guy in the shin. Logan could have decked him again if Remy didn’t extract him from the room. 

“Okay, wow, bitch. I knew you’d be a good party friend, but I didn’t know y’could punch like that,” Remy sounded amused as he took him downstairs. 

“I have been informed in the past that I have anger issues,” Logan muttered, glaring behind him and making sure that person didn’t follow them. Remy dragged them back to the water dispenser in the kitchen.

“No shit, sherlock,” Remy laughed and grabbed them fresh cups for water. Remy drank thirstily and Logan sipped at his drink, struggling to stop fuming at that jackass upstairs. “You’re _cute_ when y’pissed,” Remy hummed and pulled up his shirt to wipe off his forehead. Logan’s eyes lingered too long on Remy’s exposed stomach when Remy dropped his top, but Remy just smirked at him. “Hoe, I know it. Y’wanna play anothe’ game?” 

“Yes, I am interested in trying beer pong. I have not participated in it before,” Logan suggested, looking to the table curiously as a distinct group of individuals from earlier played. 

“Cool,” Remy nodded and walked up to the kitchen table. “We joinin’,” He announced to the people around the beer pong table. There were a few shrugs around the table and one man who cheered enthusiastically. “All righ’, if they bounce it, you can try t’knock it away. If they lob it, y’can’t. Drink if the ball lands in a cup. Rinse the ball before tossin’ it. It’s pro’ly this mixin’ bowl,” Remy explained. 

“Yup!” Someone chirped. “Come on already!” 

Remy shoved Logan over to the other side of the table and Logan examined the players as they did their rounds. They handed Logan a ping-pong ball before his turn and he tossed it in his hand once a twice to get a sense for it. He was still buzzing from clocking that guy and felt as if he could focus despite the haze of alcohol. 

Logan rinsed his ball and took his shot when a tiny girl shoved him in front of the table. He lobbed it and it bounced off the rim in the middle and into an edge cup with a resounding cheer from his team. They gave Remy the cup and a ping-pong ball. He bounced it into the front cup and Logan failed to knock it away and he was granted a beer to drink while the others had their turns. Logan downed the beer and exhaled hard when he finished it. He stacked it with other empties next to the table and retrieved a ping-pong ball off the floor to wash the debris off of it. 

His next shot wasn’t as successful, but the teams stayed neck-and-neck. They had joined early into the game and Remy and Logan were both another three beers in by the end. Logan enjoyed himself so much he nearly forgot he was a failure. Nearly. His brain struggled to pull his every errant thought back to that fact, and that was an upgrade from the prior iteration. 

Remy’s team had won in the end. There was this rebuttal event Logan was definitely too drunk to understand before victory was declared. Another group of people took over the table while Logan chugged water for the excessive alcohol he’d consumed. He wasn’t uncomfortable per se, but his vision was low-grade spinny. Spinny isn’t a word. Dizziness, perhaps, without the discombobulated sensation.

Logan didn’t pay attention to where Remy dragged him to, next. He had a cup of water to sip and felt relatively okay. That was nice. These events were pleasant. Remy pushed Logan into a recliner and Remy deposited himself into Logan’s lap. Logan paused and stared at Remy in confusion for a brief second. He decided he didn’t care and just sighed and melted into the chair. The armchair was a congenial place to be. He was comfortable. Remy held his cup, so he didn’t have to watch it. He let himself relax more than he had in months. It was easy to do in his toasty and fuzzy state.

Things were simple right now. Remy was warm, so wonderfully warm. Logan was toasty, as well. He was not unpleasant or hot. Cozy, perhaps. Logan had never associated cozy with being mildly dizzy, nor did he think he’d ever be able to be comfortable in a stranger’s house with an unknown man in his lap, but tonight could be considered atypical at best. Logan pondered if being inebriated had a vocabulary modifying effect that changed standards for certain words. That was dumb. All words are contextual and situational. He was dumb.

Logan tittered to himself about the ridiculousness of it all, and Remy looked at him with a raised eyebrow while he sipped his drink in Logan’s lap. Logan stuck out his tongue and shifted his brow to arch across his face. Remy sputtered on his water and laughed out loud, holding out the cups for Logan to take while Remy cackled violently. 

“You drunk as fuck, chief,” Remy said matter-of-factly and sipped his water. 

“I would not contest that fact,” Logan shrugged. “I do not have a good barometer of what indicates levels of drunkenness, but I will defer to your superior knowledge,” He spoke evenly while he played with the bottom hem of Remy’s jacket absentmindedly. 

“How th’fuck d’ya do that?” Remy raised an eyebrow and looked impressed for an unfathomable reason.

“Do what?” Logan blinked at him in confusion.

“Y’know, drop all them multi-syllable words without slurrin’ or nothin’,” Remy drawled and wobbled slightly. Logan reached up to steady him, putting his palm flat on Remy’s back. 

“Clear diction is important for communication,” Logan closed his eyes and the room felt as if it was spinning faster, so he opened them back up and drank more water to try to alleviate the discomfort. 

“You’re a wordy lil’ fucker when y’drunk, ain’tcha?” Remy slurred mischievously and grinned. Remy’s eyes sparkled enticingly as he spoke. 

“Addendum: also angry. I would like to go find that bastard again and punch him in the solar-plexus,” Logan smiled lazily, lolling his head backward. He anticipated feeling strange, but the _particular_ brand of strange he had no barometer to comprehend. He tried to just enjoy the fuzzy quality instead of the discomfort. 

“Good thing y’pinned, then,” Remy chuckled airily, leaning on Logan. They enjoyed a long pause of contented uneasiness. He examined Logan’s state, perhaps judging the level of drunkenness. “You want some fresh air?” He asked, pursing his lips at Logan. 

“I estimate three more minutes and I will release you,” Logan deadpanned and held on to Remy’s side. Remy cackled and nearly dumped water on Logan when he tried to take a sip. Remy leaned into him instead of fighting it any further, which Logan enjoyed. He was just joking, but Logan had no qualms against having an attractive man in his lap. Logan jokingly squeezed him in and was rewarded with an adorable squeak before letting him go. Remy glared playfully at him and smacked him lightly on the arm before smirking and leaning back against Logan again. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> losleep flirting ftw  
> also i live for creole remy and no one can stop me _i spent 2 hours researching the accent i didn't even know you can spend that much time researching an accent_


	2. incandescence

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Logan and Remy go to the library.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you're not here for porn, see you next chapter! Skip at the ► to ◄ to ignore smutty nonsense.

Remy dragged Logan out the back of the house onto the small patio. Logan took a deep breath in an attempt to help with the loathsome feeling in his stomach. Instead of refreshing clear air, it was cigarette smoke. He felt annoyed for a moment, but he didn’t care enough to react to it. There was an abandoned pack of cigarettes next to the ashtray on a small side table. Logan extracted two cigarettes and passed one to Remy politely. Remy accepted it without hesitating.

“Do y’smoke?” Remy raised his eyebrow and slid the cigarette into his mouth, grabbing the lighter from next to the ashtray. 

“No. It’s unhealthy,” Logan said and put the cigarette between his lips. He watched Remy light the cigarette and emulated him when it was his turn. The smoke stung and burned and made his throat and sinuses feel completely raw. Logan stifled the need to cough and cleared his throat, grimacing. 

“Mood,” Remy exhaled a puff of smoke and slid against the wall to sit down on the concrete patio. Logan leaned against the wall to sit down with a slight wobble to join Remy seated on the patio ground. 

Logan inhaled again and relished the sour and hot burning pain. His throat prickled painfully, and he gargled some water for a moment before swallowing, and he felt less like coughing out his organs. He took another draw and even his eyes stung from the smoke. They stared out into the yard silently while they smoked for a while and Logan’s stomach stopped churling uncomfortably. It still hurt from the alcohol and cigarette smoke, but it felt more manageable than earlier.

“Girl, you should take better care of y’self,” Remy exhaled and leaned back against the wall. 

“I am incapable of doing anything correctly,” Logan examined the lawn where the game they were playing earlier appeared to be continuing with an entirely different set of people. 

“Y’sure decked that guy _right_ ,” Remy laughed darkly. 

“Anything _good_ , then,” Logan amended his original statement. It was overcast tonight, but the full moon was so bright he had no trouble seeing the strange decorations littering the lawn. 

“ _I_ thought it was good,” Remy rolled his eyes. “Thanks, again,” He smiled to Logan, and the sincere look was disarming.

“Anytime you require me to resort to physical violence, I will be happy to… oblige,” Logan stated smoothly and took another draw. It didn’t hurt as much anymore, which was a shame. 

“How ‘bout other… physical stuff?” Remy cocked an eyebrow at Logan and then took a long draw. 

“How do you mean?” Logan asked curiously, glancing at Remy. 

“I mean what d’you say we go somewhere an’ make out an’ see where the night takes us. I’m interested. You ain’t exactly subtle about checkin’ me out, so I know y’are. Why not?” Remy suggested and snuffed out the cigarette in the nearby ashtray. Logan stared at Remy, entirely unsure how to process this, but he took one last drag and put out the cigarette as well. 

“I have found a side door to the library that often gets left unlocked,” Logan stood up carefully and offered his hand to Remy. “Would you like to… ‘top off’ before we leave?” 

“Hell yeah. I meant somewhere in th’ house, but if that’s your kink then I’m down, girl,” Remy said coquettishly. 

“I’m glad you ran up to me,” Logan smirked, and they headed over to the keg on the lawn. They filled their water cups at the keg and downed the refills simultaneously. “A bathroom break and then we shall egress,” Logan declared, holding his empty cup aloft. 

“Y’such a fuckin’ nerd,” Remy cackled darkly, and they headed inside. 

There was a line for the bathroom. Logan was out of it enough and chatting with Remy that he didn’t notice the wait. He used the restroom despite the disgusting state, which Logan would normally have refused to use if he wasn’t so drunk. Logan stood guard for Remy while he waited for him to finish up in the bathroom. They locked elbows to leave the house and resumed chatting about how astrology was stupid as they headed back towards the campus library. 

Logan realized he reasonably should feel nervous. It had been a long time since he experimented with Patton. He barely knew Remy. Logan’s parents were homophobic, and he had planned to never indulge in another man’s touch again. He knew it would hold him back in life. He could almost hear his father’s voice in his head telling him it was wrong. How he was supposed to get good grades and marry a girl and have children, like he was intended to?

Right now, he hated his parents, himself, and the empty feeling inside of him. He liked Remy and his confidence and his selfishness and his willingness to be himself. He liked the freedom Remy represented. He liked how velvety Remy’s skin felt against him and wanted to feel more. In his inebriated state, he couldn’t think of a single reason not to. He was too distracted by their meandering conversation and Remy’s attractive smile to even look for one. 

“See, charmin’ an’ friendly? Me? That’s such bullshit,” Remy sneered jovially. “Who even believes this stuff?” 

“I find you charming,” Logan replied airily. “But I agree, I haven’t lived life worry-free since I was an infant. I don’t understand how planetary positioning has anything to do with personality,” He shook his head with bemusement. He couldn’t remember how they got on the subject but he was enjoying himself. 

“No, no, let’s get back t’how y'think I’m charmin’,” Remy smirked enticingly, arching an eyebrow at Logan. 

“I find your attitude appealing,” Logan shrugged slightly, smiling to Remy.

“I’m p certain most people find my attitude bitchy an’ unpleasant,” Remy laughed dryly, not looking very amused. 

“I think it is attractive when people take charge to pursue their goals. And I would not call you unpleasant. It’s true you aren’t completely congenial, but you aren’t offensive or grating. You are refreshing and gratifying to be around,” Logan squeezed Remy’s arm affectionately as they walked. 

“Sir, are you flirtin’ with me?” Remy elbowed him lightly and wiggled an eyebrow. 

“Should I not?” Logan grinned impishly. 

“Mm-mm, by all means. Tell me how great I am,” Remy’s giggles were bubbly and there was something very uplifting about the sound. 

“Other than the fact that you are visually pleasing to anyone with _eyes_? I’ve observed that you are playful, delightful, you have a genuine smile, and you’ve graciously led me through things this evening despite my lack of knowledge, so I could even call you kind, as much as your preference in language might protest that,” Logan mused happily, looking to Remy. Remy turned pink in the face, which was a pleasant surprise. 

“Bitch, I’m not kind,” Remy chuckled nervously. Logan hummed in dissent. 

“Understanding, then? Or would you prefer merciful?” Logan said smoothly and Remy turned even pinker and his eyes shined and for a moment Logan found himself lost in them. He never understood that expression before, but if Remy wasn’t literally holding his arm he’d likely just stand still and stare into them awkwardly. 

“Oh, I like merciful. Because of the implication that I can _smite_ someone’s ass f’crossing me,” Remy grinned. Logan found the playful smile Remy often bore enticing. Remy seemed to be able to find amusement in anything. 

“That is another thing I like about you,” Logan winked at him. “Ah, the door is right over here,” Logan said, leading Remy around the side of the building. “A disclaimer might be necessary that I’m not the only person who knows about this door, and we may run into others. However, it should be no issue if we stay quiet, ” He warned Remy. 

“Long as we don’t have an audience,” Remy said blithely. “Lemme guess, you snuck in here to study while everyone else was usin’ it as a fuck destination?” Remy arched an eyebrow at Logan. 

“An accurate summation of events,” Logan exhaled with amusement. “With you, I won’t be as tempted by literature though. You’ll be the most alluring thing in the building,” Logan said lowly, and Remy turned pink again. Logan tried the door slowly, making sure it wasn’t too loud. The door opened and Logan exhaled in relief. He didn’t know where else to go, and Remy’s proposition intrigued him. It wasn’t one he intended to pass up. 

Logan took Remy’s hand and led him into the dark and unlit library. The stacks would likely be occupied, but Logan assumed his regular spot would be the best choice. He steered Remy around the areas with cameras and ducked them down as they passed a window and led him to the walls with study rooms. He entered the first open one and pulled Remy in. 

“There, a measure of privacy and we can safely whisper here,” Logan whispered to Remy. “If we keep the door open, they won’t even bother to check it if security passes through. I’ve hidden in here a multitude of times,” The study room was dark, but the open door let the streetlights and moonlight flood in with just enough light to see Remy’s roguish grin. 

“So y’sayin’ we only have t’be silent when someone passes by?” Remy raised an eyebrow and pushed Logan against the wall with one hand. Logan shrank back lightly as Remy pinned him against the wall on either side of his head. Remy’s expression was dark and hungry and completely mystified Logan. He simpered beneath Remy’s irresistible look for a heavy moment while Remy stared down at Logan like he was dinner.

“That is corr-” Logan started but was cut off when Remy leaned in for a kiss. It was a rough kiss leaden with craving and unspoken desire, not slow and gentle like Patton’s. Remy wasn’t quietly searching for something. He was openly taking what he wanted. There was a certain fervor to the kiss that was completely captivating. His attention was entirely enraptured by the potent kiss. Logan was sure he could not pull away if he wanted to. And at the moment, it was the last thing of which he’d even consider doing. 

Logan took a moment to respond in earnest out of sheer surprise but quickly returned the pace Remy was setting. The heat between them built as Remy pressed him into the wall with his torso. Logan’s hands glided to Remy’s sides as Remy pinned him to the wall. Remy held on to Logan’s neck and angled the kiss deeper, his own hand sliding down Logan’s shoulder. He wasn’t sure when his own hands found their way under Remy’s shirt. Logan was equally unsure of when his own shirt was discarded. 

He didn’t have any awareness of when they ended up on the floor, either. He simply found himself there, pinning Remy down and nibbling at his neck, each little bite earning a new quiet gasp that lit an overwhelming heat in Logan. His eyes had adjusted to the unlit room and he could see the dim flush of blood in Remy’s face and the pale glint of his earrings from the streetlight through the windows, and he tried to absorb every second of it. The warmth of inebriation wasn’t nearly as engaging as the flare coming from Remy beneath him, and he fought back the effects of the alcohol in favour of indulging in every part of this moment. 

► “You look ravishing,” Logan whispered against Remy’s neck before pulling up to look Remy in the eyes. “Please tell me if you would like me to stop,” He requested seriously. Remy reached up and wrapped his arms around Logan’s neck and pulled himself up to meet Logan’s face. He pressed himself against Logan’s lips and bit at his lower lip. Logan moaned softly as Remy dragged his teeth away from Logan’s lower lip.

“Green lights, babe,” Remy whispered in return. Logan closed the gap between their lips again, his breaths getting sharper every time they pulled apart for air. 

They both lowered to the floor again and kissed and explored each other. Logan had heard the term ‘handsy’ before, but this felt like a whole new level. Remy’s hands were everywhere he could reach, slipping across Logan’s skin and his nails digging in when Logan teased Remy’s earlobe or ran a thumb over his nipple. He kissed just below Remy’s ear and his hand slid down Remy’s side and hovered at his navel after an indeterminate amount of time of fevered kissing and touches. Logan wanted to go further. The heat between them and the fire inside him was almost too much, but he needed more.

“Still ‘green’?” Logan whispered gently into Remy’s ear as his hand skirted just above the waistband of the boxers poking out from Remy’s jeans. 

“Jesus, I thought y’were a virgin,” Remy whispered in astonishment. Logan pressed another kiss to his neck and sucked lightly, and Remy gasped again, gripping at Logan’s sides tightly. A low, sensual groan reverberated in Remy’s throat. 

“You aren’t interested?” Logan asked quietly, pressing his leg further into Remy’s crotch. Remy’s physical reaction and faint twitch Logan felt through his jeans gave the impression of a certain opinion, though he’d still wait for verbal consent despite the overwhelming haze in his brain. He wanted more than anything for Remy to let him continue, though, kissing Remy’s neck and running his teeth across Remy’s jaw. ◄

“No, I, I-” Remy trailed off as Logan started sucking gently on his neck again. “I just didn’t expect it from you,” Logan froze for a moment when his eye caught an odd glint off Remy’s earring. “What?” Remy asked quietly with wide eyes. Logan pulled his finger up to his mouth and motioned with his head to the doorway. A flashlight danced slowly across the floor, across the large open library across the way out the study room door. Remy’s eyes shot to the open doorway, and he stiffened, trying to stifle his harsh breathing. 

Logan motionlessly held himself up above Remy, watching the doorway carefully as his heart pounded in his chest. This was so stupid. Why was he doing this again? He could get caught and expelled for drunkenly making out with this stranger in the library. Why did he suggest this? The light passed by safely, but Logan continued to wait as he slowly calmed back down. In the distance, he eventually heard muffled talking. It sounded like perhaps the guard might have caught someone. Which means he won’t be coming back for a while. 

► As the panic subsided, his arousal came back much more intensely than before. Logan had never been known for ‘thinking with his phallus’ before, but at the moment now that the danger had passed and the warm fuzzy feeling in his brain made it hard not to. His erection pulsed painfully against his pants with want and it chased away all of his doubts. It was better than thinking with his brain at the moment, and Remy looked so divinely seductive laying beneath Logan. Remy was biting his lip nervously and looking up to Logan pleadingly. 

“The coast is clear. Are you… still interested?” Logan asked tentatively. His hope for a positive answer was evident in his voice and another part of his anatomy that was pressed up against Remy’s thick thigh. 

“That’s better than fuckin’ coffee,” Remy whispered with a wide-eyed expression. It quickly melted into something more playful, and the dilated want in his eyes was clear even in the dim room. “Show me whatcha got, nerd,” He smiled impishly and reached up, pulling Logan down against him. Logan and Remy resumed kissing, Remy’s pace even faster and urgent. 

The kiss felt like Remy had somewhere he was desperately trying to get to, and his tongue twisted with Logan’s in a clear message of where he wanted to be. He ran his nails down Logan’s back and kissed Logan like he didn’t care for breathing. Logan’s hand returned to Remy’s side, sliding around and feeling the skin under Remy’s shirt, running his fingertips across his skin, and playing with his nipple.

“I will still require a clear yes or no,” Logan whispered lasciviously, pulling his nails gently across Remy’s side while he slid back down Remy’s neck on the other side, biting down and sucking gently, careful not to leave a bruise. 

“Just fuckin’ touch me, y'tease,” Remy hissed and Logan didn’t need a further invitation, sliding his hand down to the button on Remy’s Jeans, working it open and pushing his hand in. Remy jolted silently at the contact and caught a muffled moan in his throat. 

Logan gently stroked Remy over his boxers while sucking on his neck. Remy’s cock twitched at the contact, ready to be freed. He undid the zipper and moved his hand inside of Remy’s boxers. Remy let out a quiet breathy moan when Logan gripped his shaft as the base and slid his hand up slowly. Logan pushed his lips to Remy’s, silencing him as he started stroking more deliberately. 

Slight whines and moans rose and died in Remy’s throat as Logan continued to kiss him to keep him quiet as he pumped his hand with a slowly growing pace. Remy shuddered under his touch and his back arched off the floor. He moaned and his hips jerked up into Logan’s hand as Logan picked up the pace with his strokes. 

Watching Remy come apart underneath him was more intoxicating than anything he drank tonight, and he couldn’t stop himself from moving his hips slowly along Remy’s thigh. Remy groaned in satisfaction, seeming to enjoy the sensation of Logan grinding against him as Remy pressed his leg up into Logan for more. 

“Be quiet,” Logan whispered and nibbled at Remy’s ear lobe, pulling down Remy’s shirt and sucking a hickey just above his collarbone. Remy moaned again and hissed, reaching up and gripping Logan’s hair with one hand and grasping his own shirt with the other. 

Logan returned to kissing him, trying to squelch the rising volume of his fevered breaths, but desperately wanting to feel close to him at the same time. Logan’s erection strained against his jeans and he pressed down a little more against Remy’s Thigh. The pressure was both uncomfortable and pleasurable as he slowly ground against Remy’s leg as he pinned Remy to the floor and stroked his thumb across the tip of his cock. 

Remy moaned into Logan’s mouth, which sent a lightning jolt of pleasure through him. Logan pressed his fingertips in slightly along the underside of Remy’s dick while he stroked him relentlessly. Logan and Remy panted into each other’s mouths, incapable of focusing any attention on kissing any further.

“Fuck,” Remy grunted through his teeth and Logan tightened his grip on Remy’s cock, stroking him harder but slower as he pulled Remy’s orgasm out of him. Remy’s entire body jolted in response and he panted sharply. “Shit, fuck!” Remy hissed and his cock twitched in Logan’s hand. 

Remy raised his hips and Logan grinned against Remy’s lips as Remy moaned and shot a load onto his stomach as he tensed on the study room floor. Feeling Remy writhe beneath him and the ecstatic noise that came from him pushed Logan over the edge as well, tensing painfully against his jeans as he came. Logan panted as he looked down at Remy. Remy exhaled slowly and collapsed into a puddle on the floor, breathing hard. 

“I- holy shit, Lo,” Remy muttered quietly. 

“I- I didn’t cross any boundaries, did I?” Logan asked nervously, letting go of Remy’s cock and pulling himself up on his arms to give some distance. 

“No, no, I just-” Remy gasped again for a moment. “Where th’fuck did that come from? I mean- seriously. Quiet, unassumin’ nerd, kisses like _that_ and uses his hand like _that_?” He whispered incredulously. “I can’t remember th' last time I came that hard,” He admitted barely above a whisper. 

“I hope that’s a good thing,” Logan replied nervously. 

“Oh, fuck, yes, it’s a good thing. God damn, let me pay you back,” Remy said, reaching back up to grab Logan and pull him closer. 

“I enjoyed myself plenty watching you,” Logan smirked. “I worry for the state of my boxers… it has been… a while,” Logan said a little sheepishly. He probably should be embarrassed, but he was still drunk enough that he didn’t feel very ashamed about it. Remy just smiled smugly and said nothing about it. If anything, he looked pleased with himself.

“Ugh, same, but I’ve gotta sticky stomach t’walk home with,” Remy chuckled. Logan leaned down to kiss Remy on the cheek. Remy re-angled Logan’s head to kiss him on the lips. ◄

Remy kissed him much more languidly this time. It was slow, contented, and laid back. Remy didn’t have anywhere to be anymore. The kiss was like watching the stars rather than rushing to the finish line. Remy sighed contentedly as he pulled away. “I’d love t’lay here with you, but I’m scared’a fallin’ asleep and gettin’ caught,” Remy said, looking tired, his eyes half-lidded and a very satisfied smile on his face. 

“Reasonable,” Logan nodded and pressed one more kiss to Remy’s lips before pulling himself up. Remy sat up and adjusted himself before zipping back up his pants. Logan looked for his shirt and slid it back on. Logan offered his hand and Remy took it while they traced the edges of the room and avoided the windows and cameras as they sneaked back to the door. Logan cracked it carefully and checked outside to make sure the coast was clear before he opened it all the way and exited out into the streetlights. 

The lights blinded his eyes for a moment and he had to blink his vision back. “Shall I walk you back to your dorm?” Logan offered, though he mostly didn’t want to leave Remy yet.

“Oh, a gentleman,” Remy tittered. “Please,” Remy said, pulling them off as they held hands together under the campus lights. “I don’t really, um, do th’ monogamous thing, but… I don’t know, would you be willin’ t’see me ‘gain?” Remy asked quietly, his face pink and averting his eyes.

“I didn’t realize you were capable of being shy,” Logan said plainly, and Remy pouted and smacked him in the arm. Logan chuckled. “As long as you still like me when I’m sober,” Logan agreed happily and stroked the back of Remy’s hand with his thumb. Remy’s shoulders dropped their tension and he smiled lightly. 

“Gimme y’phone so I can give y’my digits,” Remy demanded, holding out his free hand. 

“I didn’t bring it, I apologize. I have a pen, however,” Logan said, pointing at his front shirt pocket to a metal ballpoint pen. Remy nodded and Logan pulled it out and handed it to Remy. They stopped and Remy wrote his number on Logan’s forearm before clicking it closed and handed it back to Logan. Logan slid it back in his pocket and they resumed their walk after a light hand squeeze. Remy leaned against Logan slightly as they moved, yawning. 

“I’m not usually tired this early,” Remy mused quietly. “Y’better than sleepin’ meds,” He stroked Logan’s arm affectionately. 

“Thank… you?” Logan said, not really sure if that was intended to be a compliment or not.

“It’s good,” Remy chuckled. 

“I am normally asleep early. I think it is because I am still somewhat inebriated that I’m awake, but I am not sure,” Logan said distractedly as he looked down the street. 

“Prolly. I betcha it’ll hit like a brick when y’sit down,” Remy yawned again and the sensation of yawning seeming to tickle the back of his brain. They walked in silence for a bit as they headed back to Remy’s dorm, both too tired to do much other than a hum in response. Remy’s yawns eventually affected Logan, and now he couldn’t stop yawning either. 

When they reached Remy’s dorm building, Remy pulled Logan into a shadow next to the building. Remy pushed Logan against the wall, came in slowly for a kiss. It was another quietly satisfied kiss, but a little more playful, with light nibbles on the lips and a breathy sound of amusement. Remy pulled away with a smile, quickly snapping a picture of Logan’s face with his phone.

“Night, tiger. Text me,” Remy slowly stepped away from Logan and walked back into the light and into his building. 

Logan stood there a little star-struck from that kiss for a moment before heading the next dorm building over to his own. He slid his hands in his pockets and sauntered slowly back to his dorm room, part of him wishing he was still with Remy and part of him just too tired to function anymore. He checked the time on his watch and realized he’d been up for hours later than his usual bedtime. 

He headed into the lobby and hesitated at the staircase, opting for the elevator for once. He didn’t think he had the energy to take the stairs and shower. Logan leaned against the wall in the elevator and yawned widely as he waited to get to his floor, then slowly trudged down the hall to his dorm after a too-slow elevator ride. He was completely drained by that interaction and moving sluggishly. 

Logan fumbled with his keys for a moment before unlocking the door. He put his keys down on the desk as quietly as possible and sat down on his bed in an attempt to gain his bearings enough to go shower. He needed it so badly, but another yawn broke through and Logan leaned back. Every time he blinked, the world wavered and his body was heavy. He decided to lie down and close his eyes for just a moment. Enough to recover. It made perfect sense. 

— 🔥 —

The alarm going off on Logan’s phone woke him suddenly. He was completely discombobulated when he sat upon the bed, realizing he was already sitting on the edge. The noise was too loud. He reached out for the phone, but leaning made him dizzy. He turned it off and held his head. Virgil was still asleep, perhaps due to his sleeping headphones, but Logan certainly didn’t wish he was awake right now, either. 

Logan plugged in his phone slowly and climbed up to lie under his blankets properly, too tired to care that he hadn’t showered yet and that his hair was just in a giant knot. Logan slipped his glasses on the nightstand before closing his eyes and sinking into the pillow. He wavered briefly, feeling sick and dizzy, before falling back asleep. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to Ark for allosexual nonsense and beta-ing.


	3. heat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Logan plays video games and mopes.

The first thing Logan felt when he woke was that he was desperately and painfully thirsty. His mouth was completely dry. He reached on the bedside table for a water bottle, but he hadn’t set one there the night before. He glanced over and saw it was still on his desk where he had given up studying last night. Logan groaned and got out of bed slowly, reaching out for the water bottle on the desk. He finished the half-empty water bottle and attempted to pick up the water filter pitcher he kept on the floor next to his desk, but his head swam and he stumbled slightly. 

“Are you, um, okay?” Virgil asked shyly from his desk. The sound pounded in his head, and Logan gripped the desk and held his head, trying to manage this. He had drunk too much alcohol with not enough water last night. He understood now what people meant when they said hangovers were terrible. He wished he didn’t. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you sleep-in before,” Virgil said, still much too loudly. 

“Sh,” Logan hissed and held out his hand, lowering it down parallel to the floor in an attempt to express his need for a quieter interaction. He tried again for the jug and managed to pull it up to the desk to pour a refill. He pushed it against the wall instead of putting it back on the floor. Bending was the enemy. He knew that now. Logan chugged some more water and headed over to his dresser. 

“Are you alright, though?” Virgil said just above a whisper. 

“Fine,” Logan muttered, realizing he’d have to go to a lower drawer to get new socks. It wasn’t happening. He’d just have to be barefoot in the dorm after his shower. He pulled out a pair of pajamas. Comfort was more important than dressing nicely today. 

He always swore he would always present nicely, just like his parents wanted him to, but there were lots of things he swore he would do or would never do he was breaking recently. He wasn’t even going to tolerate shaving. He was only taking a shower because he felt absolutely disgusting and the smell was making him sick. He was so gross that he’d rather not even put a robe on his filthy body. He would change in the shower stall. Extracting his socks to put on shower sandals was an arduous task, and he nearly threw up. He had to take a break after that. He grabbed his shower kit and a towel and headed out of the room with his things to go shower. 

The common room was bustling with life, especially the kitchenette, but it relieved him to find the showers deserted this time of day. He must have slept much later than he had in years. Logan carefully perused for the least disgusting stall and shuffled in, tossing his towel and robe over the door. He leaned against the wall which was disgusting and he was thankful he was already showering, to slowly peel out of his soiled clothes from last night. 

He tossed them to hang over the shower stall slightly into an empty adjacent one. Thankfully, there was hot water for the showers. Logan took a long shower, appreciating both the heat and the significantly more hydrated feeling it gave him. He also enjoyed not smelling beer with every inhale of air. That was not a pleasant experience with his heightened senses.

Logan turned off the water and toweled off, feeling somewhat better. He still wanted to drink a gallon of water and go back to bed, though. He probably should be studying or something, but he didn’t see the point if he was already a failure. He could take a day off. Maybe the weekend off, even. 

He wrapped his towel around his waist and gathered his things to head back to his dorm. He tossed his clothes in his dirty laundry bin and returned his shower bag to their bathroom and got changed very slowly. He didn’t think he could handle bending twice and just skipped underwear. Virgil wasn’t in the room, so returning them to his drawer didn’t have to be an awkward group event. 

Logan sat on the edge of his bed, ready to lie down again, but the smell of beer returned. He pulled up the top sheet and sniffed it. He’d have to change his sheets. He had no idea how he was going to manage that. He stood up and stripped his bed with a few lazy yanks. Eventually, the sheets tugged free. 

It took much longer than he would like to admit to get new sheets from under the bed and tuck them under the mattress to re-make his bed. He also didn’t want to admit he threw up a little in his mouth and went to go brush his teeth again, even though he just did it in the shower. He was completely winded and even sweating slightly from the effort when Virgil returned to their dorm. 

“Hey, dude. I, uh, you didn’t look good, so I got you this,” Virgil whispered and walked up to him, holding out a container of soup and a disposable spoon. Logan looked up to him in disbelief and back down to the soup. He did not understand what to do. Virgil walked over and put it down on Logan’s desk. “You’re not contiguous or anything, are you?” He asked quietly and went to go sit at his desk. 

“No,” Logan said, and the confusion was evident in his voice. He got up from the bed and sat down at his desk, cracking open the container. Vegetable minestrone. The smell was powerful, but he could probably manage it with small bites. “Thank you,” Logan said awkwardly. He wasn’t under the impression Virgil liked him much. “How did you get this out of the dining hall?” He asked curiously.

“I brought containers to school in case I wanted to snack after the dining hall was closed… y’know, the insomnia? I just filled it at the soup station and nobody called me out or anything,” Virgil rubbed his head and trailed off. “I hid it in my backpack,” Logan took a small bite of the food. He had never had soup so incredibly powerful, but perhaps that was the hangover. He ate slowly while drinking water liberally. “I’m sorry for prying, but… you smelled like alcohol, while you were sleeping. Did you go out to a party?” Virgil asked awkwardly. 

“Yes, I did,” Logan responded affirmatively and ate another spoonful of soup. 

“Aren’t you, um, only 18?” Virgil asked quietly. 

“Many of the people there were,” Logan supplied and raised an eyebrow at Virgil. He didn't normally ask these kinds of questions. 

“Oh, okay,” Virgil trailed off and looked away. “It just… didn’t seem like something you would do,” He said sheepishly. Logan just hummed and continued slowly trying to eat the soup. He agreed, but also didn’t care what he seemed like he would and wouldn’t do anymore.

“Thank you again for getting me food. I appreciate it,” Logan added after a moment. 

“It’s, uh, chill,” Virgil muttered and turned back to his desk, pulling on his headphones. 

Logan wondered if Remy had any hangover tips. He reached for his phone and paused. He had washed off most of the pen markings in the shower by accident. He had forgotten they were there, honestly. He had forgotten all about the end of the night. His memory of the night before was spotty, but he couldn’t forget Remy and that boisterous attitude and that shy smile that came between the lazy playful grins. He carefully examined his arm and recorded the possible number combinations on some notebook paper. There were a few numbers that were too blurry to know if they were a ‘0’ or an ‘8’ or something similar. 

The piece of paper drew his eyes towards it and Logan couldn't look away. Four possible phone numbers. He wasn’t sure he should even text Remy. He wasn’t allowed to be gay. He was supposed to be studying. He wasn’t supposed to fornicate in the library. He wasn’t supposed to drink, or smoke, or really do anything he did last night. All of it hurt in the light of day. Every single mistake he made was like a knife wound he placed in his own back. 

This wasn’t where his life was intended to be leading to. It betrayed everything he stood for. He was a bad, terrible, awful person for doing them. He was an even worse person for enjoying it and wanting to do it all again. He was the worst person for doing all of that when he knew he should have been trying to fix the problems his own stupidity caused. If he acknowledged he did all that by texting Remy, it would hurt like hell.

He texted all four possibilities, despite the pain. Maybe even for the pain. He had no interest in not talking to Remy again. Remy made him feel like he could do anything, and it was addictive. Especially right now when he felt like a failure again, suffering the consequences of his terrible decisions. He wanted to be a terrible human. He wanted to hurt himself. He was a failure of a man, and he may as well treat himself that way. 

Remy deserved better, but he may as well see Remy until Remy doesn’t want him around. Logan really wanted to be near him. Remy was perhaps a beacon of debauchery to him, just on the way they met, but he was clever and interesting and confident and proud and everything Logan couldn’t be. It made Logan feel capable to make Remy feel like that. It was something that he wouldn’t trade for anything right now.

Logan focused on finishing the soup. He took it to the bathroom to rinse out thoroughly and dried it off. He couldn’t search for dish soap right now. He could only think about laying back down. And Remy. And how Logan might have taken advantage of Remy while drunk since he couldn't remember what happened that clearly right now. And how Logan probably looked like an idiot at that party. How he was an idiot to go to that party. He wasn’t even invited. The first thing he said to Remy was a lie. Or was a lie until he went. Maybe that didn’t matter. Probably all that mattered was that Logan was a piece of shit and he felt like shit, so at least something made sense. 

Sleeping more would have been an acceptable way to spend the afternoon, perhaps even too good for Logan. He laid down and tried to quell the dizzy feeling roiling in him with rest, but sleep wouldn't come for him. Logan closed his eyes and just felt sick and uncomfortable. Logan was honestly surprised people did this to themselves on purpose. Unless more people were pieces of shit in the world than Logan had accounted for. He rolled over and involuntarily groaned. He knew he deserved this, but this was miserable. He was grateful Virgil was a quiet roommate. He could be thankful for very little right now, and Virgil’s tendency towards silently listening to music on his headphones while he worked was one of them. This time when Logan closed his eyes, he drifted again, and just let oblivion take him. 

— 🔥 —

Logan woke up to a text alert near his head. He’d missed a few, but he must have been in a light enough stage of sleep to hear this one. It was one of the numbers texting back, saying that they weren’t Remy, but they recommended greasy food for hangovers. He checked the other messages. One of them had cussed him out for bothering them. The other text was Remy saying Pedialyte and fast food. The concept of the two together turned his stomach, but he had gotten two responses telling him to eat grease. If anything was greasy, it was that awful dining hall burger. He didn’t have Pedialyte, but he could get a sports drink from the soda fountain at the dining hall. 

Logan slowly threw his legs over the edge of the bed and eyeballed his dresser. He still wasn’t interested in bending down to put on his socks. He only had his shower sandals, loafers, and exercise sneakers, so he slid on the sneakers and left them unlaced. If he tripped on it he’d deserve the fall. Virgil was out again, so he left quietly and went to go eat something against his better judgment in the vain hope it actually helped. 

\- — 🔥 — -

Logan was finally better the next day. In a sense. He was no longer hungover, which was an upgrade. He still didn’t have it in him to dress properly, do his hair bun cleanly, or interact with anyone pleasantly. He ignored his alarm again and slept in, but still felt like trash. Probably because he is trash. Now that he wasn’t hungover trash, though, he didn’t know what he should do with all this free time. Other than buying a pack of cigarettes, he really didn’t have any ideas to start from. He’d normally cram some Doctor Who or Star Trek into his free time, but that was too passive of an activity. He just wanted to forget he existed. 

“Virgil?” Logan looked up to Virgil across the room as he sat on the edge of the bed. Virgil jumped slightly and swiveled around to look at Logan, lowering his headphones. 

“… Yeah?” Virgil asked carefully, looking confused.

“Do you have any recommended escapist entertainment?” Logan asked as he quietly drummed his fingers on his legs.

“Escapist... Oh. Um, video games, I guess?” Virgil supposed, curiously watching Logan. 

“All right, can you recommend a video game to me?” Logan asked, getting up to go to his laptop. 

“I, uh, what games do you like?” Virgil stammered, still looking confused. 

“I was not allowed to play games. They distract from my studies,” Logan said plainly and logged into his laptop. 

“I, uh, wow, no shit? Sorry, that sucks. Won’t they distract you from working _now_?” Virgil asked, furrowing his eyebrows. 

“I no longer care. I would like to not be present today,” Logan explained, shaking his head lightly. 

“Mood. Okay, what kind of things do you like?” Virgil asked, putting his headphones on his desk and getting up to stand next to Logan’s desk. 

“I enjoy puzzles, sci-fi, and space,” Logan supplied right away, feeling hopeful.

“Oh, okay. Can you load up your computer specs? There’s a _Star Trek_ game, I’ve heard you watching that before,” Virgil offered and Logan opened his laptop properties. Virgil made a face and hummed. “Okay, I don’t think you can run it well. But there’s another game I can think of that is more beginner-friendly and involves those three things and you should be able to run. I need you to not judge it, though,” Virgil said, leaning over and taking over Logan’s laptop and loading up the game page. 

“This game looks like it is for seven-year-olds,” Logan said incredulously. 

“I said don’t judge. Honestly, seven-year-olds are probably more advanced gamers than you. You’re a researcher in space trying to collect specimens called ‘plorts' that you sell on a free market. You have to complete puzzles to progress. It’s easy to pick up and you don’t even need to buy a controller,” Virgil explained. “And it’s also on sale right now. You can’t beat that,” Virgil pointed to the screen. It was only five dollars. “You can return it if you decide you hate it before an hour’s playtime. Not much to lose,” Virgil shrugged and looked to Logan expectantly. Logan hadn’t seen Virgil up this close before. He had really striking eyes, a bright shade of grey he wasn’t sure he’d ever seen. 

“I will defer to your expertise, though I retain the right to be wary,” Logan said and reached out for the mouse to purchase it. 

“You do you, man. If you progress far enough, you get a rocket pack that lets you fly all over the planet and there are ancient ruins to explore, just in case you need more of a reason,” Virgil moved to go back to his desk. Logan thought it sounded enticing. Virgil sat down and paused. “Oh, um, I’m sorry if we bothered you on Friday night,” Virgil added sheepishly. 

“You did not disturb me. My anger that night was unrelated. I apologize for causing any trepidation. I thought it was odd he was not over yesterday. Feel free to invite Toby if you were concerned. I will be playing this ridiculous game either way, not studying,” Logan stated plainly. 

“Oh, okay. Thanks. I was… kind of worried. If you, um, really hate _Slime Rancher_ you can try _Astroneer_. In that one, you’re a researcher on an abandoned planet and you collect things to research to progress the game. It’s not as beginner-friendly, but you get to build a rocket ship and go to other planets and stuff. Um, you might need to turn down the graphics on that, though. Your laptop isn’t exactly a powerhouse,” Virgil said sheepishly. 

“Thank you for another recommendation,” Logan nodded to him and checked the download progress on the game. The dorm internet was really dreadful. “I will go to the corner store while this game downloads,” Logan got up and headed to his dresser for some socks. 

“Cool. So you don’t mind if Toby comes over? His roommate is being a drama queen again,” Virgil asked sheepishly, tapping his pointer fingers together nervously. 

“Not at all,” Logan asked, sliding on his socks and reaching for his sneakers. 

Virgil nodded, pulling out his phone. He gave Logan a slight smile as Logan exited the dorm. The campus store didn’t carry cigarettes, so he’d have to walk off-campus. But there was a corner store that was not very far away that he could reach on foot. 

The cool fall air was pleasant as he jogged out of campus towards the corner store. He appreciated the fresh air, for once, instead of jogging for purely health reasons. He jogged to keep his endurance up, but he was about to throw his health in the gutter and pick up his own pack of cigarettes. If he didn’t smoke too much, he could still continue to enjoy being capable of smelling things in life. He mostly just wanted to feel that sharp heat in the back of his throat. Once that stopped happening he would probably lose interest. He wasn’t entirely sure if he _should_ care, though. 

Logan got to the corner store and picked up a bag of salty chips to stress eat and a bag of gummy sharks for Virgil as a thank you for the soup. He had seen Virgil indulging in them in the past. He also grabbed some M&Ms for Toby, since Virgil would probably appreciate it. Logan hung back from the register as he stared at the cigarette display. He recalled that smoking clove cigarettes had a mild numbing agent, which meant with any luck he could smoke only one pack. He wanted to hurt, there was no question about that, but he didn’t want cancer. He asked for a black box of clove cigarettes and grabbed a lighter, then checked out. 

The clicks of the lighter while he tried to get it to work when he finally made it to one of the designated smoke areas back on campus frustrated him. He just bought this plastic contraption and it should be in working condition. He shook it a few times and it finally lit. Logan took a long draw and coughed, his throat raw and stabbing again, but this time he wasn’t numbed to the awful itching with alcohol. It’s what he was looking for, though. That sweet pain to punish himself for being such a fuckup. It also tasted significantly better than whatever cigarette he stole at the party was. 

Logan lowered himself onto the bench and leaned back. He hoped that game would be compelling. He didn’t like being in his own head anymore now that he knew there was the option of not being there. If he overheard the existence of a party tonight, he’d crash it without hesitation, hangover be damned. He liked the way alcohol shut off his brain. 

He took another draw, and something about it just quieted his mind. Maybe it was the pain. The raw, unadulterated scratching heat at the back of his throat from the cigarette couldn’t be ignored. Every time he pulled the less he could focus on how much he fucked up or how he didn’t belong here or how weak he was or how screwed he was or how many people seemed to hate him or how much he deserved their scorn. He pulled into the filter before he even realized what had happened. Logan exhaled painfully, broken up with a sharp cough, then put out the cigarette butt in the tray and returned to the dorm. 

“Hello,” Logan said dryly as he entered his dorm room. Toby was there with Virgil and the game was already loaded on his laptop screen. Virgil waved shyly. Logan pulled his chips out of the bag and walked over to pass off the candy to Virgil. “Thank you again for the soup yesterday,” Logan said as Virgil curiously took the bag and looked in. His face lit up when he saw the gummy sharks. He fished them out of the bag excitedly and passed the shopping bag over to Toby wordlessly. 

“Thanks, dude!” Virgil said brightly and ripped open the bag, shoving a shark in his mouth right away. Logan nodded and went to his desk. He poured himself plenty of water, which he drank much of, and put on his headphones to play this stupid colorful game with the slimes bouncing around. 

After playing for thirty minutes he had to agree that perhaps a seven-year-old was more adept at playing video games. He was very confused at first. The tutorial was enough to begin playing, but in general, even if he felt a bit lost. Like he wasn’t sure if what he was doing was right or helpful, and the camera frustrated him even after he got a hang of the controls. But launching slimes at each other and watching the physics was surprisingly satisfying. He didn’t realize that you could die in this game and was taken out by the weird evil slimes at night the first evening. But he had a better handle on things a few in-game days later. Once he found the first puzzle it was much easier to figure out what to do next.

Logan thought it wouldn’t be compelling because the mechanic was so simple, but there was something nice about focusing on something simple instead of something complex. He was so used to the concept that mentally under-stimulated was bad that he didn’t realize there was a middle ground he could indulge in. Being restricted from video games didn’t help his lack of knowledge, of course, but he was able to catch on to the internal logic.

He found it easy to lose himself in the game and bypassed the hour playtime for returning it. The revelation that things didn’t have to be hard to be interesting and stimulating was worth the five dollars on its own. He had to admit it wasn’t entirely his cup of tea. There is a small storyline with the character and perhaps an ex but it was mostly just corralling slimes about. He wouldn’t mind more to do in-game. But game progression unlocked more things to do. The sensation of earning something when he was literally wasting his time was also novel. There was something really enjoyable about that, too. 

“Hey, uh, Logan, the dining hall is going to close soon. Toby and I are headed out. Do you want to get some dinner?” Virgil asked from behind him. Logan pressed escape and rubbed his eyes. He had wasted all of the time between lunch and dinner. It was amazing how much that knowledge hurt in his chest. 

“Thank you,” Logan nodded and saved and quit. “I apologize for intruding,” He nodded to them.

“No, it’s… no trouble… you just said you didn’t want to be present and I figured you forgot…” Virgil rubbed his arm and trailed off. 

“You coming?” Toby drawled, leaning back with his hands in the pocket of his black jeans. Logan gave Toby an annoyed look but nodded and grabbed his keys and followed him out the door. He had on a black shirt with a pumpkin on it even though Halloween was still weeks away. It probably looked put together compared to Logan, though. 

His exercise clothes looked fine, but Logan always considered them dressed down. Barely a step above pajamas. He didn’t want to stand out, but if he was singled out he probably deserved it. He didn’t deserve to even be here in college. Getting in was a fluke. Logan clearly didn’t belong here with his grades. Ah, he got his brain function back. Damn it all. 

He needed to stop thinking about it. He knew he couldn’t deal with it. He needed to figure out which slimes wanted what food. Maybe he could reorganize his pens. Maybe he could buy that other game Virgil recommended. Why not. That money was for essentials, but what even were essentials, anyway? Logan wasn’t capable of counting the various things he’s been wrong about lately. 

The dining hall was packed with the late-night eaters when they got there. It seemed like most of the choices were picked over. He just followed Virgil and Toby mindlessly and got what Virgil was getting. It was probably fine. Logan didn’t want to intrude, so he sat at the table next to Virgil’s so there could be a sense of separation from their conversation so he wouldn’t bother them. 

Virgil gave him an odd look, but Toby started talking about his Halloween costume plans and Virgil didn’t say anything. He seemed to have really intricate plans. Virgil was going to do face makeup since he didn’t have much spare money. Toby offered to buy Virgil things, but Virgil turned it down nervously. Logan usually tried not to listen in, but he didn’t bring his headphones, and listening to them talk was better than listening to his head. The subject wasn’t sensitive, at least. 

Logan ate quickly, not really tasting the food. The dining hall food wasn’t particularly great, either way. It wasn’t as if he was missing out. He texted Remy, curious what he did on Sunday nights, while he finished his food. Logan gave Virgil a small wave when he picked up his tray and put it away. Logan downed some sports drink before clearing out of the dining hall, hoping it would help with the mild residual headache. 

He wondered if he should even try to work on schoolwork this evening. Review his homework to make sure it was correct. Study. Anything productive at all. Logan sighed and walked slowly back to the dorm. He was paying an exorbitant amount for this, even with the scholarships. He should probably put in the bare minimum. He was still doing well in his English course. The others he needed to figure out something for before he lost his scholarships. 

His hands were shaking. Why were his hands shaking? Logan stopped where he was walking and just stared at his hands. He… he couldn’t cope. Just thinking about trying to fix things gave him trepidation. A healthy way to deal with panic is exercise. He remembered that from high school. He could run right now. Quite literally. He was dressed for it. 

Logan started jogging and pushed himself into a run. There was nowhere to run to, really, but he could run. It was better than _actually_ dealing with the problem. He ran past his dorm and looped around the edge of campus. Focusing on breathing and pushing himself to run faster was helping. He had already run past the dining hall again when he finally gasped and slowed down, unable to go much further at that pace. 

The time on his watch said he still had five minutes before the dining hall closed, so he headed back in for a drink. Virgil and Toby were still sitting at the same table and chatting. He nodded to acknowledge them in the event one looked over, but neither did. He got some water in peace. It almost hurt to drink because his throat was so raw from the run and the cigarette earlier. 

He headed back out and headed towards his dorm in earnest this time. He wasn’t shaking anymore, so if he didn’t think about trying to do anything, he could hopefully stay that way. He decided to go buy _Astroneer_. Why not. _Anything_ but thinking anymore. Thinking has failed him. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah, avoiding things! Classic move, burnout Logan.


	4. sparks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Logan is a gay disaster and Remy is mildly a bastard.

Logan chewed on the inside of his cheek while he typed up the lecture. He couldn’t bring himself to talk to his professors about help or makeup credits yet, but he could keep attending the class and taking notes. The notes didn’t help him much, but he could _have_ them. The problem was Logan’s capacity to take in the material over everything else. He never had this issue in high school. 

He didn’t understand why this is was so different. How he could even get in with his dismal academic performance? There were so precious few things that made sense in his life anymore. Being present in class was so stressful it hurt in his chest. He had done nothing in days but stress out about classes or try to forget they stressed him.

Glancing around the room, it seemed like many other students were off task. How stupid was he that he could take all these notes and still get a failing grade compared to the person playing _Neopets_ two rows down? Logan bit down on his lip harder. He wished to retire the lecture for a cigarette. He wanted that sharp pain. 

Logan peeked at the current time. Only another ten minutes. He would leave now if the professor didn’t always give out the homework assignment in the last five minutes of class. A low grade is still better than a zero. Logan returned to tapping his thigh impatiently while he waited for this long-winded educator to announce the homework. 

He breathed a sigh of relief when the assignment had been recorded for future reference, slamming his laptop closed and shoving it in his laptop bag. Logan made a beeline to the nearest designated smoking area and sat down. He pulled out a cigarette and pinned his laptop bag under his elbow while he lit it and slid everything away, leaning back with a long exhale of spicy smoke. 

“Hey, sailor, bum a smoke?” A familiar voice said, sitting next to him. Logan sat up and saw Remy’s impish grin and couldn’t resist smiling back. He fished a clove cigarette and his lighter out of his pants and handed them off to Remy. “Picked up the habit?” 

“Yes, I’m collecting bad habits,” Logan deadpanned and Remy rolled his eyes. “It is delightful to see you again,” Logan couldn’t help but stare at him in bafflement. It surprised him Remy was willing to be near him. 

“You didn’t text me the last two days, I was worried you were already sick of me,” Remy replied, lighting the cigarette and passing back Logan’s lighter. 

“The opposite was the case,” Logan said, immensely relieved that Remy felt similarly. “I wasn’t bothering you?” He confirmed shyly. His texts weren’t interesting or enjoyable, and Logan assumed Remy was tired of Logan’s nonsense.

“Nah. I like it. I like you. Ghost me _again_ and I’ll kick your ass,” Remy’s tone was pointed and annoyed as glared at Logan. “You wanna go on a proper date tonight? My treat,” Remy extended the invite much more genially, taking a long draw while Logan dealt with the emotional whiplash. “Love the clove, by the way, thanks,” Logan froze and blinked. 

“You… actually…” Logan trailed off, struggling to catch up with the conversation.

“It’s a yes or no question, nerd. I know a place off-campus with great pizza by the slice and doesn’t card,” Remy offered temptingly, bouncing his eyebrows above his sunglasses. 

“I would like that, _very_ much so, yes,” Logan nodded, still reeling from the sudden proposition. 

“Take a puff, doofus, it’ll clear your head,” Remy chuckled and shifted to sit closer to Logan and put his arm up on the back of the bench while he smoked. Logan drew slowly, and it surprised him when it actually helped. Logan thought that was a myth. Perhaps it’s only the deep breathing aspect that helps. “Gay panic? From you? You were a confident motherfucker while drunk,” Remy grinned. 

“Is that… bad?” Logan asked quietly, dropping his eyes to the stonework ground the smoking bench rested on. 

“Shut up, it’s cute. They call it liquid courage for a reason,” Remy jostled him lightly. “We’ll get plenty of liquid courage tonight if you want it,” He winked and shoved Logan again with his hand. 

“I wouldn’t mind it. You aren’t worried?” Logan curled into himself, feeling like garbage.

“About what?” Remy looked at him curiously, clearly not following what Logan was implying.

“A repeat of last time where I failed to keep my hands to myself?” Logan sighed morosely, fiddling with his pants. 

“Bitch, you practically made me beg. I mean consent is iffy when both parties are drunk and all, but you made sure you had it,” Remy rolled his eyes and exhaled. Logan scrunched his face and tried to remember if he did. “You got any more classes today or can we ditch our bags and go be gay all over the place?” Remy asked off-handedly. Logan remembered more with the reminder, and he _did_ get consent. His drunk memories were a little fuzzy at best, but he liked them much more now.

“Let us go be gay and merry,” Logan replied with amusement. 

“You slut, it’s the first date, I’m not _marryin’_ you,” Remy stuck out his tongue and Logan couldn’t help but laugh at his joke.

“My dorm building is the next one over to yours,” Logan explained and took another long draw. “I’d like to finish my cigarette first, though,” He added. 

“Agreed,” Remy said stiffly, mocking Logan playfully, and Logan leaned into Remy’s arm. 

Logan chuckled slightly and watched Remy exhale a puff of smoke. He could understand what people meant by an oral fixation now, watching Remy smoke. Once again he had to smoke to redraw his focus. Much of the time Logan wasn’t at the whims of his hormones, but the memory of Remy underneath him was quite possibly the most sexually charged moment of his life and it was significantly diverting. He didn’t normally like the reminder he was ultimately still a hormonal teenager when he had been trying to be taken seriously as an adult for so long, but it was… _fun_ … with Remy. He didn’t mind being human with Remy. Remy was proudly human, brazenly flawed, boldly open. It was all comforting and refreshing to be around.

“I continue to be thankful for your presence,” Logan exhaled some spiced smoke contentedly. 

“A little early to start flirtin’, isn’t it?” Remy smirked at him. 

“I think it is important for you to be informed that I find you captivating,” Logan shrugged, smiling to Remy. “If that is flirting, then it is never too early,” Logan added more softly, but still confident in his statement. 

“Aw, you like me,” Remy teased and elbowed Logan in the side. Logan flushed and fiddled with the clasp on his bag before taking another draw. 

“I perhaps like you an embarrassing amount considering we just met last Friday,” Logan admitted and pulled down his tee-shirt.

“Didja get a little crush on me or somethin’?” Remy looked pleased while he smoked. 

“I don’t think I’ve had a crush before. Maybe,” Logan confessed and fidgeted with his free hand again. 

“Christ, how are you not a blushin’ virgin?” Remy laughed with amusement and wrapped the arm that was on the bench around Logan’s shoulder. Logan’s face grew a little hot, and he focused on smoking. 

“It was… My best friend and I might have experimented more than once,” Logan confided in him. “Strictly speaking, I’m not out of the closet. Though my parents aren’t here, so I don’t have a requirement to hide it other than on social media,” Logan explained with a hushed tone.

“Considerin’ there’s very little heterosexual explanation for what happened in the library, that’s probably a good call,” Remy sounded bemused and took a long draw. “Did you and your friend secretly date or somethin’?” 

“No, we were both simply hormonal teenagers at sleepovers. Patton is very sweet, but I’m afraid we’re not each other’s types. He has a new boyfriend from his college that, from the sound of it, is very unlike me. I do miss him, though,” Logan admitted. He wished Patton was less busy so he could talk to him about these things. 

“What is your type, then,?” Remy inquired curiously, arching an eyebrow as he glanced at Logan. 

“I am not aware of what my type was before, but you are beguiling, and I often find my mind drifting to you,” Logan reflected, and Remy turned slightly pink and shoved Logan in embarrassment. 

“Girl, you’re goin’ to kill me with that shit,” Remy sounded genuinely flustered and rubbed his reddened face.

“Did you know that ‘the little death’ is a French phrase for achieving climax?” Logan smiled nervously, hoping he wasn’t going too far with teasing. Remy turned properly red this time and shoved him again, but he was laughing. 

“Then you can kill me softly anytime, babe,” Remy shifted closer to Logan. It was Logan’s turn to blush now, it seemed. His face warmed while he inhaled his clove cigarette. The offer was very tempting.

They finished smoking together amicably, Remy leaned ever so slightly, tantalizingly near Logan. Part of Logan felt the need to close the distance. He was internally conflicted about displays of affection in public, his own shame with his stupid horny desires, and the need for more of the heat between them in the cool fall air. Logan fidgeted with his free hand, casting glances at Remy who seemed perfectly comfortable in his own skin, smoking like he didn’t have a care in the world. 

Remy leaned past Logan to put out the butt of his cigarette in the tray, smirking as he slowly pulled back, making Logan’s eyes chase him. Logan narrowed his eyes at Remy. He had the distinct impression Remy knew what he was doing to Logan. Logan put out his butt in the tray after Remy cleared, not taking his eyes off Remy, who ran his hands through his hair and smiled, getting up from the bench. It was cold on his side with Remy gone and Logan already missed the warmth. Logan stood up and straightened his clothes and the strap on his laptop bag, then looked to the incredibly smug Remy. 

“You mind if I just toss my shit in your dorm? I’m dyin’ for that pizza,” Remy dropped his sunglasses to wink and Logan pulled his lips tight and shook his head, leading the way back to the dorm. 

Remy’s fingers grazed Logan’s briefly as he adjusted his own messenger bag, walking alongside Logan. Remy hummed to himself happily while they walked together. Logan thought the tune was familiar and glanced over to Remy, who bit his lip gently before stretching and yawning, interrupting the melody. The song probably didn’t matter. Logan was getting too flustered to think straight, either way. Remy’s tight shirt stretched and lifted under his jacket, and Logan couldn’t help stealing a glance. Remy’s tune continued as they walked back, closing in swiftly on the building. Logan watched Remy’s fingers drum along with it as he held the strap on his messenger bag. 

“Like somethin’ you see?” Remy asked curiously, brushing against Logan’s arm again. Logan blinked for a pause and turned red. 

“I… apologize,” Logan said sheepishly, looking down at his shoes. Remy made a throaty chuckle noise and held open the dorm lobby door for Logan. Logan felt his face grow hot and rushed in past Remy, keeping his head down resolutely. Remy sped ahead of Logan and called the elevator, once again holding out his arm to hold the doors open for him to enter. Logan’s face was so hot it was physically painful when he pushed the button for his floor. 

Remy leaned back against the elevator wall and slid his hands in his pockets, smirking at Logan. Every instance Logan looked up from the floor and caught Remy’s eyes staring at him, he felt as if he was having heart palpitations. Logan exhaled and tried to steel himself, but the next time he glanced up, Remy had lowered his sunglasses and made a kissing face at Logan. Logan completely short-circuited. 

“You’re taking gay panic to a whole new level over there, aren’t you?” Remy mused with a lilting laugh, sliding up his sunglasses into position with a flick of his head and standing up straight as the elevator came to a halt. 

“I have never been on a date,” Logan muttered, straightening back up and stepping out of the elevator and into the hall. 

“You can fuck a guy on the floor but you can’t think about hand-holdin’ without bein’ a gay disaster?” Remy chuckled and patted Logan jovially on the back. Logan shot completely stiff and if he thought he short-circuited earlier, he wasn’t aware of how hard he could actually short-circuit. Logan froze on the spot, unable to move, think, or even blink. “Come on, nerd,” Remy pushed Logan forward, propelling him down the hall. 

Logan had been shoved past his own door, but he managed to turn enough to stop being thrust past his doorway. He did not manage to pull his keys without fumbling them and dropping them on the floor. Remy made a saucy growl noise when Logan bent over and Logan could have died of embarrassment, causing him to drop his keys again. Remy cackled and Logan only barely succeeded to unlock it while Remy slid his fingers across Logan’s back. 

Remy chortled while Logan stumbled into his dorm room, shooting a small glare at Remy, who he was certain was attempting to goad even further reactions of Logan. Virgil looked up from his desk with a confused expression as he tumbled in, and Remy followed smugly behind him with his hands in his pockets. Logan nodded with his bright red face and headed over to put his bag down at his desk. 

“Hey… _Rem_ y?” Virgil greeted them disbelievingly, his face still deeply baffled. 

“‘Sup, V. Toby’s not here? Weird,” Remy replied airily, still completely laid back. 

“He’s… got a group project. He’s coming over in an hourish,” Virgil looked between Remy and Logan with curiosity. 

“Oh, _really_ ,” Remy drawled casually as he slid his bag down next to Logan’s. “I’ll send you guys some pizza,” He smiled knowingly and shifted his weight, watching Logan fumble with his wallet.

“Um… thanks?” Virgil regarded Remy strangely. “We appreciate it. How much do you want us to save you?” He asked, still sounding confounded.

“Two pieces is fine,” Remy shrugged, not acting concerned. Logan nodded again and headed back out of the dorm. He couldn’t take this. He was not wired for this. 

“You’re letting us eat three-quarters of the pizza?” Virgil asked incredulously, arching an eyebrow at Remy.

“We’re gettin’ pizza already, that’s just for my breakfast,” Remy flipped his hand with a small smile. “See ya, spooky. Have fun with Toby,” Remy waved and followed Logan out of the dorm. 

Logan locked up quickly behind them and moved down the hall with haste, as if getting away from the proverbial ‘ground zero’ of that event would help ease his ailing blood pressure. Remy stayed behind easily, seeming especially amused. Logan pushed the elevator call button and sighed heavily. 

“I apologize. I am not ashamed of you, just excessively embarrassed,” Logan rubbed his head. “I am an… incredibly ‘useless gay’,” Logan admitted. 

“Oh, I _know_ it, gurl,” Remy enunciated slowly with the corner of his mouth turned up, leaning into Logan. “I _didn’t_ know you roomed with V,” Remy added after a pause of Remy looking at Logan’s red face. 

“Yes. He’s a good roommate. I have not seen you before the party, however, and Virgil doesn’t leave the dorm much, so I am possibly more surprised you are acquainted with Virgil,” Logan said weakly, finally regaining some of his composure through talking about a subject he could handle. 

“Toby is my roommate. They’ve hung out at our dorm room a few times, but I’m ‘too much’ for Toby sometimes so he likes giving me my space,” Remy shrugged and his teeth grazed his lip as he stepped in the elevator. Remy’s face flashed with disappointment before leaning against the elevator wall. 

“Yes, I have heard him mention that you are a ‘drama queen’,” Logan walked into the elevator and leaned against Remy. “I am sure that your complaints were valid and I have never found you to be ‘too much’,” Logan reassured him. 

“It’s whatever. I’m lookin’ forward to pizza and beer, babe. I also want to see if you can form words if I held your hand at the restaurant,” Remy smirked at Logan who shrank in on himself, hiding his face in his hands. “You are fantastic at sex, but romance isn’t your wheelhouse, huh?” He speculated distractedly. 

“It can be overwhelming. I do not mind telling you that you are wonderful, but all the rest is unfamiliar territory,” Logan muttered, crossing his arms protectively. “I suppose I am emotionally compromised and have no previous experience with it,” He shook his head slightly with a frown on his face.

“So you’re anxious?” Remy stated mildly, and Logan glanced at him to see Remy with a compassionate expression.

“To say the least. I… am not supposed to be gay,” Logan admitted, rubbing his arm. “And I understand that sexual contact is just as gay as dating, but I suppose I have compartmentalized it as… a friendly interaction in my thoughts,” He mused weakly.

“Eh, I mean it was _casual_ sex, I guess, but what we did in the library was gay as hell, babe,” Remy snickered and pat Logan on the shoulder. 

“Yes, I’m… acutely aware,” Logan chuckled nervously. “I think I am still capable of going on a date,” He declared hesitantly, wondering if it was too late to take it back. He _hoped_ he was able to attend a date was a more accurate statement. 

“Considerin’ we’re on our way already, that’s good. I just have to get used to you bein’ a blushing idiot,” Remy smiled smugly. Remy did not seem to mind Logan’s uncertainty.

“Is that a proverbial deal breaker?” Logan asked, partially out of humour but still genuinely concerned.

“Nah. I’m going to have fun with it,” Remy laughed, grazing his fingers across Logan’s hair and sliding his hand behind Logan’s ear and across the back of his neck with a featherlight touch. Logan’s face turned red again, and he bolted out of the elevator, followed closely by a buoyant Remy. 

Remy pulled out his phone and tapped around, flashing Logan the screen of the rideshare being summoned. “Three minutes,” Remy informed him. Logan followed silently out towards a bench out front. Remy sat on the bench and crossed his legs, but Logan worried if he sat down he would not be able to stand back up. He couldn’t believe that he was on a date, and if that information caught up to his legs, his knees might stop working. 

“Is this your first date, period? Not even a girl?” Remy asked after looking at Logan incredulously for a moment. 

“I was not allowed to date,” Logan admitted plainly, though his face was likely annoyed. 

“I’m honoured,” Remy cackled. “First dates have to be a disaster, it’s a rule. So just enjoy the trash fire. Let’s get a little too drunk and eat a little too much and just say dumb shit,” Remy proposed teasingly and looked excited at the concept of going slightly overboard.

“I am sure I will do all of those things without goading,” Logan chuckled at himself. “How many drinks are traditional before I embarrass myself completely?” He asked genially, but having a warning for his own idiocy wouldn’t hurt. 

“Two or three. But it could happen as soon as we arrive or after we get home, so there are no guarantees,” Remy shrugged and winked playfully, tilting his head so Logan could see his eyes. 

“How about in the car on the way there?” Logan smiled slightly, looking down at Remy on the bench. 

“Oh, that’s prolly already goin’ happen,” Remy flashed a cheshire grin and swept his knuckles across the back of Logan’s palm which made Logan’s face get hot all over again. “You are an absolute disaster gay, babe,” Remy chuckled deeply and Logan couldn’t deny that low chuckle was incredibly alluring. 

“I, uh, we aim to please?” Logan stammered out, very aware he was failing at flirting. Remy stared at him for a pause before that deep chuckle came out once more and skidded his thumb across Logan’s hand again. “Oh, thank Newton, the car,” Logan sighed as he watched a rideshare pull up. 

Remy got up from the bench and walked around to check the plates first before getting into the backseat. Logan climbed in quietly and sat stiffly in the car with his palms splayed on his knees. His hands were a little sweaty and uncomfortable. He stared down at his feet for the most part because every time he looked at Remy he got embarrassed all over again. Remy was so cool and composed and charming and seemed to be incredibly amused. 

“Hey, I got any idea,” Remy tapped Logan’s shoulder gently and Logan faced him nervously. “What if I overload your shame level so much you can’t possibly feel any more embarrassed,” Remy asked mischievously. Logan looked to Remy with confusion. He couldn’t comprehend it being any worse. Logan swallowed and nodded. “Have you ever done anal while kissing? Maybe by the candlelight while holding hands?” Remy whispered and Logan’s face got so hot it burned while he buried it in his hands. His brain jumped to imagining it without his permission. “Well?” Logan could hear the bemusement in Remy’s voice. “I’m waitin’ for an answer,” Remy sang, and his voice got closer to Logan’s ear. 

“Ah, _um_ , er, _uh_ ,” Logan stammered out random syllables and just ended up shaking his head violently from side to side. Logan rarely let himself picture romantic interactions, and mixing it with sexual contact made it even more potent in his brain. It was also one thing to talk about this in _private_ and another thing completely to discuss it with a stranger within earshot. And the sensual way Remy was saying it was assuredly not helping things getting out of hand in his head.

“How about oral and sweet nothings?” Remy whispered into Logan’s ear and Remy’s hot breath on Logan’s lobe sent a shiver down his spine. Remy trapped Logan’s arm gently while he waited for an answer. Logan felt as if he couldn’t breathe for a moment. His whole head felt like it was on fire with the thoughts Remy was planting in his head.

“I… yes, partially,” Logan whispered, and it was barely audible. There were no sweet nothings involved, but they had tried oral sex.

“What was that, babe?” Remy said lazily, wrapping his arm over Logan’s back, merely grazing him as he rested it on the back of the car bench. 

“A little!” Logan blurted out between his fingers. 

“Almost there, I think,” Remy responded impishly and Logan groaned, feeling mortified. 

“You want to try anal?” Remy whispered. “Bent over and screamin’ into a pillow while I wreck that ass and tell you how great you look doing it?” Remy’s whisper was just loud enough to hear, but it was as if a megaphone ripped through his mind it was so intense in his head. He was certain he heard a computer error noise before he couldn’t think anymore, which also didn’t make sense.

Remy cackled and briefly rubbed Logan’s shoulder while he attempted to recalibrate. Logan blinked a few times, absolutely unable to process. Homosexual relations were supposed to be a secret, and this was anything but with the cab driver snickering in the front seat. And Remy had filled his brain with romantic sex, which Logan had previously never been present, and he did not understand how to parse that concept. It was overwhelming differently than he had grown used to, and Logan just stared ahead, blinking, incapable of thinking straight. Literally.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> next two chapters are largely horny with fluff, next angst is chapter 7. I hope you enjoyed the flirty playful lospleep!  
> ark asked incredulously if neopets still existed, and yes, it does


	5. flare

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Logan's first date at a pizza place.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Skip at the ► to the ◄ to pass over the smut.

The next thing Logan knew, he was eating pizza in the restaurant. Classic rock was playing over the speaker system, but it was mostly drowned out by the animated chatter around him. The pizza was incredible. The cheese had nice broil marks and tasted fresh. Remy sipped a plastic cup of beer and they had a whole pitcher of it at the table with their pizza. It was Canadian bacon and olive, which wouldn’t be Logan’s first choice, but the saltiness was fantastic with the beer. Logan drank half his cup and exhaled, recognizing how much better he felt. 

“I… can’t believe that worked?” Logan stated curiously, putting down his beer and enjoying another bite of pizza. “I don’t think I am capable of being embarrassed any further,” He said in awe.

“Nice to see you back in the land of the livin’,” Remy cackled and topped off their beers from the pitcher. “You’ve been out of it for like fifteen minutes,” 

“It took my brain a bit to catch back up to reality, I suppose. This is an enjoyable combination, thank you,” Logan nodded to the things on the table. 

“I told you it’s good with the beer they have. You were mutterin’ all pissily while I ordered,” Remy smirked and had a bite. 

“I apologize, I was under the impression I didn’t like Canadian bacon. It’s incredibly satisfying with the tomato sauce and cheese, however,” Logan explained sheepishly. 

“You’re such a nerd, you could’a said somethin’,” Remy rolled his eyes and sipped his beer. 

“I’m glad I didn’t,” Logan smiled at Remy. “I can’t comprehend the idea of saying ‘no’ to you, regardless. I would rather eat subpar pizza than see you frown,” Logan complimented him, who turned a little pink in response. 

“I, well, I, uh, do normally tend to push for what I want,” Remy laughed nervously. “I think my trick might have worked too well,” He smiled bashfully. It was incredibly cute, and Logan wanted to see more of it. He took up his beer cup and held it aloft.

“To Remy’s cleverness, determination, and coruscant eyes,” Logan toasted Remy and drank a few good sips. 

“The fuck is that word?” Remy asked, furrowing his eyebrows, but he picked up his cup to drink, anyway. 

“I like the way your eyes shine. They are dazzling,” Logan clarified, and Remy turned pink again. Success. 

“Don’t hit on me with words I don’t know,” Remy mumbled with a slight flush, looking away and hiding a bit behind his beer. “You must be the smartest fucker in class,” Remy waved dismissively and ate his pizza, his composure returned. Logan bristled at the mention of school. He eyeballed his beer bitterly for a moment and downed the entire cup after a moment of tension. “Oh, did I find a sore spot?” Remy raised his eyebrow and leaned forward. 

“No,” Logan exhaled after he finished his beer and refilled his cup from the pitcher. 

“Yeah, you’re _very_ convincin’. _Obviously_ not lyin’ to me or nothin’,” Remy drawled sardonically and topped off his beer as well. “What, failed a test?” Logan froze and downed his cup again. “Holy _shit_ , dude,” Remy laughed and held up his fingers while Logan refilled his cup and drained the pitcher. “I get it, drop the subject,” Remy rolled his eyes.

Logan focused on his pizza for a long while, trying to forget school. The food and beer were delicious, and he liked Remy’s curious smile examining Logan as he chewed. He was able to settle back down after a slice and a few times of Remy making silly kissy faces at him. Remy saw the waitress pass and grabbed her attention with a wave. 

“Hey, can we get a refill on this pitcher? Thanks much,” Remy pointed to the pitcher. The waitress smiled brightly and took the pitcher. 

“Sure, darlin’” She winked before walking away. 

“She… is barking up the wrong tree,” Remy laughed boisterously and took a massive bite of pizza, kicked Logan’s let gently under the table. Logan glowered at the waitress. “Oh, somebody’s jealous now that he’s got a few beers in ‘im,” Remy sipped at his beer again. Was he already tipsy? Logan sat back and stared at his hand for a moment. He needed to file his nails. Why are his hands so dry? Logan clicked his tongue a few times. “Yeah, you’re tipsy hon, that happens when you basically shotgun two beers trying t’avoid somethin’,” Remy rolled his eyes and leaned forward. “Hey, lookit me,” He said, pointing two fingers between the two of them. Logan looked over and got caught up staring at him. “I’d say you’re already a lil’ drunk,” He grinned. Logan smiled back, but he wasn’t sure why he did. It maybe didn’t matter. 

The waitress came back with the pitcher and bent over when she put it on the table, facing Remy and showing off her cleavage, which was more abundant than earlier. Remy rolled his eyes and leaned on his hands, facing Logan pointedly. Logan got up and leaned over the table, kissing Remy hard and then shooting the waitress a glare. She scampered off hastily, bright pink, and Logan sat back in his seat in a huff. Remy laughed boisterously, doubling over on himself and nearly knocking over his drink. 

“I mean, _ask_ before doin’ that, babe!” Remy cackled. “We’re gonna get shit service the rest of the night, now,” Remy seemed amused, at least. Logan realized that was an ill-advised move too late. “I get the inklin’ that someone’s a bit of an exhibitionist,” Remy said pointedly while he wiggled his eyebrows and Logan blinked. He couldn’t tell if he was blushing because his face was already hot. 

“I do enjoy exhibits and presenting findings, yes. It’s enjoyable to educate people,” Logan looked quizzically at Remy. Logan didn’t understand what Remy was trying to communicate.

“You need t’google kinks sometime, babe,” Remy giggled and downed another beer, sighing in relief as he dropped the empty cup to the table. 

They had eaten over half the pizza, and Logan was definitely drunk at this point. Remy’s foot slid up Logan’s leg and it shot a tingle up Logan’s spine when it feathered down his thigh. Remy leaned forward on his hands and stared at Logan mischievously as his foot moved around under the table. Remy’s expression was searing, and Logan was rapidly losing his sense to his growing erection. 

“Remy,” Logan stated with a confused expression.

“Hmm? I’m not doin’ nothin’,” Remy replied lackadaisically, sipping his beer. “I was jokin’ at first, but I think I got y’pinned, though, ‘less it’s laundry night,” Remy smirked, sliding his foot around gently across Logan’s groin under the table. Logan suppressed a groan. “You know it’s cute how jealous you get as long as you remember I’m not somethin’ t’possess,” Remy said and pushed down a little right on Logan’s dick, causing him to flinch and bite his tongue. 

“You are your own person, but it’s my first date she was intruding on,” Logan grumbled and bit the inside of his cheek, trying to focus. Remy smiled widely while Logan tried to drink his beer and failed spectacularly when Remy applied pressure again. “You have… proved whatever your point was, I’m sure,” Logan sighed and gripped the table when Remy started applying more pressure consistently, stroking now more than gliding. Logan chewed on his lip and swallowed hard. 

“I have no idea what you’re talkin’ about,” Remy said airily and ate some pizza. “Pizza’s gettin’ cold, babe,” Remy motioned to the pizza. Logan inhaled hard with a long stroke across his crotch. Logan tried to steady his breathing and eat a slice, but Remy went at it again and Logan fought back a moan. “It’s loud in here, f’sure,” Remy said disinterestedly. He pressed on Logan’s crotch and Logan shut his eyes, fighting back a groan from the combination of pain and pleasure. “Are you not hungry anymore?” Remy asked coquettishly, arching an eyebrow at Logan and pressing down again, almost testingly. He scrunched his eyes shut tight and bit his lip to keep quiet. When Logan finally opened his eyes Remy was leaning on his arms on the table staring knowingly at Logan, looking smug as all hell, which was frustratingly attractive.

“I’m… extremely hungry. But not for anything on the table,” Logan held himself as upright as he was capable.

“That was so cheesy,” Remy teased and pressed on his crotch once more.

“So is this pizza,” Logan said plainly, and Remy broke out laughing, ceasing the under table torture. Logan breathed a sigh of relief and adjusted himself so his painful erection wouldn’t be so obvious in his joggers. “Please, Remy, we’re in public,” Logan hissed quietly. Remy just looked amused.

“I have to piss,” Remy winked and got up, grabbing Logan’s hand and pulling him out of the booth. Logan looked to Remy in confusion, not sure why Logan had to come with if Remy had to pee. Maybe he wanted protection? Logan was happy to keep him safe. Remy dragged Logan into the bathroom and shoved him into a stall against the wall. Logan was even more confused now.

► “Remy, I don’t-” Logan started, but Remy put his finger on Logan’s lip and closed the stall door behind him. Remy pushed Logan back into the stall wall with his finger and leaned in to kiss him. The kiss was wet, silky, and temping and Logan reciprocated instantly despite the unsavoury surroundings. Remy reached down and stroked Logan through his trousers and Logan hissed into Remy’s mouth, biting Remy’s lip automatically. 

“How quiet can you be?” Remy pulled away to whisper into Logan’s ear. 

“Remy-” Logan tried to talk again, but Remy gripped Logan’s cock through his pants and cut Logan off. 

“Sh, it’s packed in here. Wouldn’t want anyone t’hear you,” Remy whispered, sliding his hand into Logan’s pants, pulling out his cock in one swift motion. “Stop me now if you really don’t want this,” Remy said salaciously, kissing against Logan’s neck. Logan wanted to object, but he didn’t think he’d ever been so hard in his life. He wasn’t sure why it was so thrilling or arousing, but being around all these people offered both a challenge as well as fanned the flames of his extremely inappropriate desire. Logan shook his head and mimed zipping his lips. “I thought so,” Remy breathed against Logan’s ear and planted one more kiss on his lips before sinking down. 

A shiver shot up Logan’s spine as Remy licked the underside of Logan’s already painfully hard erection. The cooling spit was entrancing against his hot skin. Remy’s tongue slipped back and forth across the length of his dick slowly and Logan gripped the wall behind him. Remy teased the tip with his teeth by barely grazing it, causing Logan’s cock to twitch against Remy’s lips. Remy smiled up at Logan for a moment before taking Logan’s cock into his mouth. Logan inhaled sharply again, trying to stifle a moan. 

Remy didn’t spend long with teasing motions and soft tongue movements before slowly lowering his head all the way to the base of Logan’s cock and sucking lightly. Logan squeezed his eyes shut, fighting another moan trying to rise from him. Remy’s tongue pressed in from inside his mouth and he started moving up and down on Logan’s dick, sucking and reaching up with his hand to gently caress Logan’s balls. Logan bit his finger compulsively, unsure of any other way to keep quiet in the bathroom. The music played loudly and the sounds of restroom bustle around him didn’t seem like enough to mask the sounds Remy was trying to coax out of him. 

Laughter burst out from just outside the stall door that caused Logan to freeze completely, but Remy didn’t relent, sucking harder and taking Logan all the way to the base, using the bottom of his tongue to sensuously torture him. Logan bit into his finger harder, nearly making an audible noise. A low, nearly silent groan broke out, covered by more laugher from outside the stall. He didn’t have time to be thankful for it while Remy sucked hard and bobbed his head quickly up and down. 

Remy’s dexterous tongue had Logan getting closer with every stroke, and Logan was biting down on his finger so hard he was afraid he might draw blood. Remy rolled his testicles gently as he sucked, causing Logan’s head to swim. Logan desperately gripped at the wall and pushed his head back, riding out the waves of pleasure and feeling helpless to Remy’s mouth. Remy took Logan’s cock completely in his mouth, his nose pressed into his pelvis, and sucked vigorously, moving around his head and grazing the skin with his teeth. 

Logan came hard, biting down on his lip and groaning quietly, praying the music covered up the sound. He couldn’t think of anything else while Remy drank it down, sucking gently afterward, coaxing out the last few drops. Remy pulled his head off Logan’s cock and gently licked the head, pulling up Logan’s pants and boxers as he came up eye to eye to the desperately panting Logan. 

Remy kissed Logan hard as soon as he withdrew his finger from his mouth. Logan could taste the remnants of himself on Remy’s tongue and couldn’t deny that was also arousing, though he wasn’t sure he was capable of getting another erection for at least an hour after that blow job. Remy pulled away with a satisfied look while Logan continued to quietly pant.

“I’m impressed with how quiet y’could stay, babe,” Remy whispered into Logan’s ear. 

“I have had… practice,” Logan breathed, trying to regain his bearings. “Though I can’t say I was prepared for that… particular treatment,” Logan blinked a few times, realizing he had a few spots in his vision. Remy smirked smugly and leaned in for another kiss. Remy’s ‘turned on’ kiss, which was hard, littered with bites and nibbles, and left Logan’s brain was not unlike like a wet marshmallow. “Return… the favour?” Logan offered under his breath, and Remy nodded. 

Logan reached down and started caressing Remy through his jeans while he finished catching his breath, though Remy’s kisses tended to leave him a little breathless. Remy’s cock twitched in response, already stiff under the unforgiving fabric. Logan pushed open the button and lowered himself down. He grasped the zipper of Remy’s jeans with his teeth and looked up to Remy with a smouldering look, and Remy’s smug expression melted into something darker as Logan kissed his erection through the soft fabric of his boxers. 

“Oh fuck, babe,” Remy hissed quietly. Logan shifted down Remy’s jeans and boxers and pulled out his dick. 

Logan planted a tentative kiss on the tip, and Remy’s cock jumped in response. Logan wasn’t nearly as skilled at Remy, but he could try his best to emulate his skill. He traced the edge of the corpus spongiosum with his tongue before pressing it flat and wide along the underside of Remy’s cock. Logan glanced up, and Remy was observing with an intense look. Logan slid his tongue around the head and Remy looked like he fought a moan as Logan flicked the tip with his tongue, slowly sliding his hand up Remy’s thigh. 

Remy sighed as Logan opened his mouth and gradually slipped down on Remy’s dick, wetting it first before doing anything more deliberate. Logan’s tongue moving around Remy’s dick earned another twitch of reaction, though, which inspired Logan to move forward. He sheathed his teeth and worked his way down to as close to the base as he could muster, his hand cupping Remy’s testicles and moving them deliberately in his fingers. Remy gasped slightly, but Logan barely made it out over the music in the bathroom. He hoped he only heard it because he was already listening for it. 

Logan’s head started to move along Remy’s shaft in earnest, applying mild suction as he worked his way up and down. Remy stumbled back against the stall, but other than a minor jostle, it didn’t stop Logan’s ministrations on Remy’s cock. Logan slid his middle finger back behind Remy’s balls and began applying pressure to the perineum, stroking the prostate through the outer wall. Remy’s cock jumped in Logan’s mouth and he took that as a good sign, sucking harder and attempting to use his tongue more as he moved his head. Remy’s hand ended up fisting in Logan’s hair, following along with the motions of Logan’s head. 

Remy exhaled, the pace of his breathing picking up as Logan bobbed up and down on his member. Logan pressed a little harder into the taint and moved his finger back and forth, shifting and caressing Remy’s testicles in the process. Remy made a slightly strangled noise that thankfully didn’t sound sexual and Logan sucked harder, his cheeks pulling in with the force. Logan tried to relax his throat to go deeper as Remy was able to, but he didn’t manage to make it all the way to the base. Remy’s fingers twisting in his hair and the quiet pants from behind Remy’s hand made Logan think it would be okay that he couldn’t do that particular trick as he continued working Remy’s shaft with his mouth. 

Remy’s dick started twitching and Remy had covered his mouth completely, so Logan estimated he was close. Logan pressed in on Remy’s perineum as much as he dared and tried to move swiftly while he sucked Remy’s cock as hard as he could muster. Logan was beginning to get dizzy from the motion and the beer, but Remy hissed behind his hand and came into Logan’s throat, holding Logan’s head down against his pelvis. Logan exhaled through his nose and swallowed, pulling up gradually as Remy’s hand sluggishly slackened from his hair. Logan licked the tip to clean up any leftover semen before standing up and holding himself up against the stall, catching his breath again. 

Remy sighed with relief and kissed Logan’s cheek while Logan breathed. Logan turned to Remy, and they shared a slow kiss, their tongues dancing with each other softly. Their mouths together were salty, but there was something satisfying about the flavour. Remy reached up and caressed the back of Logan’s head as they kissed before shoving Logan off. ◄

“Turn around, I do actually have t’pee now,” Remy whispered and Logan suppressed a chuckle. He turned around and happily leaned against the wall, trying to regain his balance. Remy finished up and Logan pushed against the stall wall to hide as Remy opened the door. Logan closed and locked it behind them and used the stall right after. For urinary tract health, but also 2-3 beers will do that to you, it seemed. 

Logan came out and washed his hands, seeing Remy look deeply satisfied and amused at Logan. Logan looked at the mirror in confusion and saw his hair was messed up, so he hurriedly took a wet hand to it to tame it down, removing the evidence that they had just fornicated in the stall. Remy left the bathroom and Logan followed soon after.

Remy and Logan settled into their booth quietly, returning to eating for a few minutes in contented silence. Logan was incredibly hungry after all that exertion in the bathroom stall, surprised at his sheer capacity to eat pizza. If they continued at this pizza consumption pace, they would finish the whole pizza with no leftovers. That almost seemed like a challenge now, and Logan decided to make that his goal. 

“We will finish this pizza before the night’s end,” Logan declared, holding his beer cup aloft. 

“Huzzah!” Remy cheered, tapping his cup to Logan’s and chugging half the cup when Logan pulled back to drink. “Thirsty work,” Remy winked at Logan, who sputtered for a moment before laughing. 

“I believe that was a triple entendre,” Logan stated with mirth, taking another drink. “I am glad the beer here doesn’t taste like piss,” He added as he drank appreciatively.

“Same. Piss an’ pizza are a terrible combo,” Remy chuckled airily, picking up a new slice to start eating. “Have fun discoverin’ some new kinks?” Remy whispered after swallowing. 

“Everything I do with you is enjoyable, but I admit there are certain activities I had a predilection to,” Logan wiggled his eyebrow, which caused Remy to laugh, and picked up a new piece himself. 

“Y’know, ‘I like fuckin’’ is also valid t’say,” Remy laughed darkly and Logan grinned. 

“‘I like you’ is perhaps more accurate,” Logan said pointedly, and Remy turned just a little pinker. “But yes, the fucking is absolutely exquisite,” He added in a whisper and Remy nearly choked on his beer in shock and then broke out laughing. 

“You a riot,” Remy sighed after he caught his breath and returned to eating. 

“I know you said you did not do the… ‘monogamous thing’, but I would like to be your boyfriend if you would let me. I understand that you may seek other relationships with someone better, but I would love to continue to see you,” Logan asked sheepishly. 

“Someone better? Geez, babe, work on that self-esteem,” Remy huffed, flopping a half-eaten slice of pizza at Logan. 

“I am positive you have enough for both of us,” Logan grinned impishly as he teased him.

“I do, and I’m givin’ you some right now. You’re great, let’s date. I must have a thing for guys who don’t get how cool they is, because I’ve been tryin’ t’hit on Virgil and he don’t seem t’get the picture either,” Remy said flippantly. 

“Virgil is… particularly attractive, I admit. I didn’t recognize it until recently. I used to try not to look at him much. He has piercing eyes,” Logan muttered. It was awkward admitting such a thing on a date with another man, but incapable of keeping it to himself after all the beer he’d had. 

“Aw, you wanna fuck him, too? Twinsies!” Remy laughed. “So what’s he like under the hoodie?” Remy leaned forward and looked to Logan with interest. 

“I, uh, well, um, yes, I wouldn’t mind… uh, I may need a crash course on polyamorous relationships. He has a sleeping hoodie and changes in the bathroom. I do not know. But he has a handsome jawline and soft looking lips,” Logan told him, somewhat guiltily. “Is it appropriate to talk about finding other men attractive on a date?” He asked for clarification and validation in his awkwardness. 

“Eh, fuck it, how else it goin’ to be a disaster without inappropriate subjects?” Remy posited and took a bite of pizza.

“Fair,” Logan laughed, forgetting for a moment that his first date needed to be a disaster as part of some sort of tradition. It was like anything but, however. Though perhaps he may as well go all in. “If we lived in the same dorm, I’d love to have sex in the showers with you before bed. It’s unsanitary, admittedly, but I loved watching you come in my mouth and I’d love to see what else we can do,” Logan whispered and Remy looked smug. 

“You horny little fucker,” Remy giggled. “My dorm’s showers are too gross t’even consider it, but f’sure, I’d love t’rail you in the shower. I bet I’d make you echo in the stalls,” Remy suggested quietly and Logan felt his face get hot. “Toby’s out with Virgil, you know…” Remy added after a moment. 

“Yes, Toby often stays over late. They are normally quiet, so I do not mind. I am a relatively heavy sleeper,” Logan stated distractedly while he enjoyed his pizza slice. 

“Hmm. I’ll try again. My dorm room is empty right now. We prolly have at least an hour o’privacy before Toby gets back,” Remy said pointedly, raising an eyebrow at Logan. 

“Oh! _Oh_ ,” Logan exclaimed, realizing what Remy was implying. 

“Yeah, that’s the sounds I’m lookin’ forward t’hearin’,” Remy winked and Logan’s face turned bright red. “You wanna finish up here?” Remy asked, finishing his beer. Logan nodded hastily and picked up his beer to drain it. Remy reached out with his free hand and held Logan’s hand, and he felt his face grow hot all over again, chugging more beer to deal with his seemingly endless well of gay panic. At least Remy was amused by it. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> an incredibly horny chapter with more smut to follow. Logan's first date was definitely a success. Remy and Logan seem to struggle with doing anything else.


	6. searing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Logan and Remy are just vibing (and maybe concerning Virgil).

Logan and Remy were probably a little handsy in the rideshare. Logan mostly remembered quiet giggling and kissing harder in the elevator than what was strictly appropriate or even allowed. Remy swung his dorm door open violently and shoved Logan into the room playfully. Logan stumbled in with a laugh and caught his balance, looking around the dorm. Remy swerved to double-check the bathroom for his roommate quickly and came back out with a delighted grin, grabbing Logan once more and spinning around with a cackle, returning to kissing him. 

► Remy’s hands skid under Logan’s shirt while they kissed, and he worked it off. The drag of Remy’s nails on his lower back as he pulled up the shirt made Logan stiffen again, effectively ending his refractory period. Remy slipped off his own jacket and chucked it on the bed without looking in a smooth movement, tossing his sunglasses right after. Logan’s hands found their way under his shirt hastily, and he enjoyed the warm feeling of his skin while they kissed intensely. Remy’s languid, satisfied kiss had been intensifying over time, and Logan could tell his own refractory period would be up shortly with the slight stiffness pushing against him. 

Logan worked off Remy’s shirt and started kissing his neck, met with a hiss of delight. Remy shoved Logan against a desk, pushing his leg in between Logan’s. Remy’s hand was gripping Logan’s back while he kissed and nibbled at his neck. One hand slipped inside Logan’s waist elastic, looping in his thumb and languidly shifting it down. Logan bit down right behind his ear before running his tongue past his earlobe and across Remy’s jaw. Remy groaned loudly and gripped Logan’s hair, returning Logan’s fervent kisses with his own down Logan’s neck. 

“You’re gettin’ a big passion mark for scarin’ off th’ waitress like that,” Remy hissed into Logan’s ear, and then three kisses down from Logan’s ear he bit down and started sucking. 

“Fair,” Logan moaned, gripping at the edge of Remy’s jeans to stabilize himself while Remy licked at the sensitive skin. Remy came off of Logan’s neck with a pop and kissed at the spot, sending a shiver down Logan’s spine, yanking Logan flush with himself and coming back up to kiss Logan breathless. Logan’s arms wrapped around Remy’s torso and he held him close. Remy dragged his nail up Logan’s spine while they kissed, and it sent pleasure downward to his crotch. 

“Bitch, you’re now my homework, because I’m goin’ t’do you on my desk,” Remy growled and unbuttoned his jeans, yanking them down while Logan cackled at the completely ridiculous joke. He kicked off his shoes and pants while he shoved Logan back, grabbing and squeezing at his ass. “You ready t’learn, babe?” Remy asked salaciously as he hooked his finger into Logan’s waistband again. That was ridiculously cheesy, but Logan was too drunk and too aroused to care. 

“Fuck yes,” Logan whispered heavily, and Remy jerked Logan’s pants down, pulling the boxers with him. Logan struggled to kick out of his shoes while Remy returned to groping at Logan’s ass. He giggled when he finally kicked off his other shoe and kissed at Remy’s neck again, having fun with the cute noises Remy made when he grazed his teeth along the skin or nipped at his ears. Remy’s hand released Logan’s ass while Logan administered kisses along his neck and shoulder, gliding his thumb across Remy’s nipple delicately with one hand. 

There was a click behind him, but he was much more interested in the tiny squeak that came out of Remy when he gently pinched his nipple. Remy’s hand returned to Logan’s ass and gently prodded at his entrance with a cool, slippery finger. Logan jumped at the sudden intrusion, but Remy just smiled and kissed him. 

“It’s okay, babe, just relax. I promise I got you,” Remy whispered softly and his finger slid in while Remy licked at the hickie. Logan groaned deep in his throat while Remy’s finger gently moved into him. “You’re doing perfectly,” Remy muttered, kissing him once more. Logan moaned out loud when Remy started moving his finger with more purpose. “God, you sound so hot, I can’t wait to take that ass,” Logan had played with himself before like this, but it felt completely different like this with Remy kissing him and whispering sweet things. 

“Second finger?” Remy asked and Logan nodded mutely. Remy bit down on the hickie and pushed in his middle finger at the same time, making another moan break out from his lips. “You’re doin’ so well,” Remy murmured against Logan’s ear before kissing Logan again. Logan’s dick twitched against Remy’s as the fingers moved deeper, curling inside him and just barely grazing his prostate. Remy pulled out a knuckle’s worth and went in again, pushing at it with more intent and shifting his fingers from side to side. Logan moaned loudly, catching himself partway through and biting his lip to quiet himself. 

“Sorry,” Logan groaned and Remy pushed at his prostate again, causing another quieter wanton moan to break free and Logan blushed, gripping on to Remy. 

“These walls better be thick ‘cause I can’t wait t’hear you moan my name,” Remy said darkly and Logan’s body flushed harder and it was getting harder to think. He was feeling so good that it was all that mattered and all that consumed him. “Third finger?” 

“Please,” Logan mewled, clutching Remy’s chest and feeling desperate for more already. Remy returned to his ministrations, moving tantalizingly slowly, caressing his prostate. “Remy, please, more,” Logan begged him, feeling too hot and aroused to wait any longer. 

“We gotta go, slow baby, you got this, just feel it. You’re doin’ so well,” Remy reassured him and kept moving his fingers around. Logan gripped Remy’s shoulders for stability as his knees lightly shook. “I love that you’re so ready,” Remy pressed kisses along Logan’s cheek and hard against his lips, biting Logan’s lower lip before kissing him with tongue once more. Logan moaned into Remy’s mouth as he widened his fingers gently. Logan stiffened again, twitching against Remy’s cock. “Oh, you love this,” Remy whispered, and Logan couldn’t respond as Remy’s fingers started moving faster. 

“Fuck, Remy, please,” Logan moaned and dropped his head to Remy’s shoulder. Remy hummed and spread his fingers lightly again, moving them in and out. “Please, please, it’s so hot, please,” Logan groaned and Remy popped his fingers out. Remy reached behind Logan and grabbed a condom packet, tearing it open and rolling it down onto himself. Logan watched with rapt attention.

“Well, since y’asked so nicely,” Remy cooed and gripped Logan’s thighs, hefting him up on the desk and taking one leg, lifting it up. “I’m gonna need you t’tell me when it’s okay t’move,” Remy said smoothly, searingly. His words had so much heat Logan’s brain set aflame. Logan nodded and Remy pressed his tip against Logan’s asshole, unmoving. Logan whined, but Remy held Logan still, pushing in gradually. Logan’s head threw back, and he moaned out loud at the foreign sensation that felt so deliciously wrong and filling. Logan tried to move again, but Remy just tutted and held him still. “You are so needy like this,” Remy grinned and pressed a kiss to Logan’s collarbone and flicked his nipple. Logan moaned out and tried to move once more, but Remy pushed hard to keep him still. “You gotta use your words, baby, don’t be so impatient or I’m pullin’ out,” Remy threatened and Logan swallowed, nodded and taking a deep breath, letting himself acclimate properly. 

“Please,” Logan nodded, gripping Remy’s shoulders to ready himself for motion. 

“Please _what_ , babe?” Remy grinned evilly, still holding Logan’s hips still. 

“Please fuck me,” Logan moaned. “I can’t, I can’t take it, please move, please-” Logan started babbling but was cut off with a prolonged moan as Remy started moving in and out. 

“Shit, you’re so fuckin’ tight,” Remy hissed reverently. “Are you sure I should be movin’?” He asked, thankfully not stopping.

“Fuck yes,” Logan groaned, wrapping his arms around Remy’s neck and pressing his head down into his shoulder, trying to balance while Remy gripped his hips. Remy lifted him slightly and Logan moaned lewdly when Remy started grazing his prostate. 

“There we go,” Remy grunted, now sliding in faster and smoother. “You were an overeager little thing, but I love that about you,” Remy chided darkly, and Logan’s entire body flushed. “But now you ready for me. How d’you feel baby?” Remy asked, pressing a kiss to his ear, his breath starting to get more ragged, the heat of his breath making his ear tingle. 

“Y-yes,” Logan moaned out into Remy’s shoulder. 

“You feel ‘yes’?” Remy asked with a cackle, pushing in harder and faster, making Logan’s head loll and his breathing come out with more force. “I guess tell me if y’feel ‘no’, then,” He chuckled, his breath getting rougher as he thrust into Logan. 

Remy picked up the pace and held Logan steadfastly, pushing into him deep and pulling out halfway with each thrust. Logan could not think at all. The only thing in the world was Remy’s panting and groans as he drilled into him and the full, bursting, hot, powerful feeling inside. Logan’s cock twitched painfully as Remy slammed into him and hit his prostate, bringing him ever closer to the edge. 

“F-fuck, Remy!” Logan moaned, digging his nails into himself and Remy as he held his neck and bobbed from the motion of Remy’s cock going inside him. 

“Gettin’ close, baby? Hold out a little longer for me,” Remy whispered and Logan didn’t know if it was an order or a request or even just a statement, he just nodded and bit down on his lip while Remy worked into him, moans falling from his mouth into Logan’s ears and sending sweet sensations across his skin. Holding on, holding back, holding Remy, holding himself upright, it was all he could manage. “I’m almost there, baby, just a little longer, you’re doin’ so amazin’. Trust me, coming together is like magic. You sound so good, I love hearin’ you moan and feelin’ you squirm,” Remy praised him and he felt so unbelievably wonderful that it was getting close to overwhelming. 

Remy reached between them and gripped Logan’s cock, starting to stroke and Logan nearly came on the spot, but he held back with another stab of his nails into whoever’s flesh that was, he wasn’t sure anymore; he didn’t even care. Remy groaned loudly, slamming into Logan hard, bottoming out with each thrust. 

“Remy!” Logan moaned loudly, unable to hold back any longer and coming hard as Remy stroked him. He clenched around Remy, who groaned loudly and rammed in one more time, pushing in all the way to the base and coming with a long, sweet groan into Logan’s ear. 

“Oh, fuck, Lo,” Remy breathed as his cock twitched inside of him. They both panted stiffly, trying to catch their breath. Logan didn’t feel able to move. Remy still inside of him felt so good and that was the only thing on his mind. He wasn’t sure when his breathing evened out, but Remy pulled Logan off gently to kiss him and Logan melted into it immediately. The kiss was leisurely and deliberate, full of emotion that Logan couldn’t possibly process but let flow through him. Remy pulled away an inch and sighed against Logan’s lips, pressing his forehead to Logan’s. “How’re you,” Remy said tiredly. 

“Mm, Remy,” Logan sighed. 

“Aw, did I fuck that big vocabulary outta you?” Remy asked teasingly, grinning at him. 

“Mm,” Logan hummed in response, not really sure what the question was. 

“Are you alright?” Remy asked with a little concern. “You’re not in pain, right?” 

“Remy is yes,” Logan muttered tiredly, and Remy chuckled. 

“Okay, babe, I’m pullin’ out and cleanin’ up. I need you t’hold the desk and sit still,” Remy said, positioning Logan’s arms behind him. Logan whined when Remy pulled out gradually, groaning at the sweet sensation, but he already missed the feeling inside him. Logan quietly exclaimed when Remy fully withdrew. Logan wobbled slightly when Remy let go, but managed to stay upright on the ledge of the desk. Logan hummed in delight when Remy came back out of the small bathroom with all his naked glory with a wet rag. Remy held out the rag and Logan stared at it curiously. 

“Okay, damn girl, are you even in there?” Remy asked, raising his eyebrow. 

“Yes,” Logan said, not sure what was happening but was under the impression that’s what he should say. Remy laughed and wiped down Logan’s chest. Logan jumped at the chill. 

“Sorry, we don’t get hot water to the sinks,” Remy rolled his eyes. “This next part’s gonna be unpleasant,” Remy said and wiped the head of Logan’s penis, causing him to flinch and blink a few times. Remy wiping off his asshole was considerably worse and sent the first horrible shiver of the night along his spine, knocking a small amount of sense back into him. “Y’think you can get dressed, babe, or are you gonna be renaissance art up on my desk?” Remy smirked. ◄

“I- yes,” Logan stammered, hopping down from the desk shakily, his knees buckling for a second, but he caught himself on the desk. 

“Damn, did I fuckin’ wreck that ass,” Remy snickered, holding out Logan’s clothes for him to take. Logan slid them on slowly and yawned, leaning against the desk again. “Come on, nerd, let’s get y’home. Toby said I can’t have guys stay. Plus, I need my school bag ‘fore I blackout,” Remy yawned, slipping back on his shoes. Logan blinked a few times and put his shoes back on as well. Remy pushed Logan towards the door and sprayed a room freshening aerosol before heading to the door himself. He locked arms with Logan, which Logan appreciated because he was still kind of confused about what was happening. 

Logan leaned against Remy in the elevator with a yawn and rubbed his eyes under his glasses. He nestled his head against Remy’s shoulder happily and Remy dropped his head onto Logan’s.

“Mood,” Remy hummed and yawned again. “Like I said, better than sleepin’ pills,” Remy sighed contentedly. “Are you okay? I didn’t hurt you, right?” Remy asked again. 

“M’fine,” Logan mumbled and rubbed his cheek on Remy’s sleeve. “Enjoyable time. Yes.” 

“I genuinely don’t know if fuckin’ made you drunker somehow or I’m jus’ that good,” Remy mused tiredly, standing up from the elevator wall and into the lobby. “God, am I glad y’stay one building over. I dunno if I could make a longer walk,” Remy sighed and shuffled ahead, pulling Logan with him. Logan’s eyes caught on something shiny and nearly veered off, but Remy yanked him back. 

“No, want to smoke,” Logan groaned, trying to head to the designated smoking area. 

“We’ll have a smoke tomorrow, it’s time for you t’go to bed,” Remy said, pulling Logan back towards the next building over. Logan whined slightly but ended up laughing as Remy pulled him up the steps into the lobby of his building. “Jeez, y’like a giant toddler,” Remy rolled his eyes. 

“M’not a toddler,” Logan grumbled. “Just don’t want thoughts back,” Logan nodded a little deliriously, keeping a tight hold of that fuzzy feeling in his brain. 

“Ah, now that makes sense for you, Mr. over-think,” Remy mused. “Hey, Lo, wanna push th’ button?” Remy asked teasingly, pointing towards the elevator call button. Logan perked up and leaned forward to push it. Remy smiled at him and kissed his cheek. “I’m buyin’ you a fidget cube, I bet your parents thought they dumb,” 

“No parent talk,” Logan grumbled, pushing his face into Remy’s arm as they stepped into the elevator. 

“Sure. Pick your floor, babe,” Remy steered Logan to the front wall and Logan leaned forward to push the button. Remy pulled Logan in for a hug and Logan happily sunk into his arms, enjoying the soft cotton of his shirt instead of the usual jacket Remy was usually in. Also, just… contact. Arms. He had such nice arms. Remy chuckled in his chest and shook Logan slightly. His glasses pressed into his nose a little painfully. The elevator door dinged and Remy pulled apart, causing Logan to pout. “Where’s your dorm?” Remy asked, motioning for Logan to lead. 

Logan grunted slightly and headed down the hall to his dorm. He reached into his pocket for his keys, but Remy stopped him just before he put them in the door, pulling him to the side and pressing a kiss against his lips. Logan exhaled happily and kissed back, enjoying the feel of Remy’s soft warm lips and the way he moved his tongue. It wasn’t until Logan was breathless that Remy finally pulled away with a little gasp. 

“I didn’t think they would like us making out,” Remy smirked, angling Logan back towards the door. Logan fiddled with his keys again, trying to unlock the dorm. Remy had to help him insert the key with a little laugh, but Logan didn’t give a shit about anything right now. Remy pushed Logan into the dorm when he forgot to go in because he was busy staring at Remy’s pretty eyes and slightly disheveled hair that just made him look more attractive. 

Virgil and Toby looked up when Logan came in, followed closely behind Logan. Toby looked incredibly amused, and Virgil was baffled. They were eating pizza and watching a movie on Virgil’s laptop. 

“Empty your pockets,” Remy ordered, and Logan rolled his eyes but laughed and dumped out his wallet, phone, cigarettes, and lighter on his desk. Remy dug through his drawers and handed Logan a pile of clothes and shoved him into the bathroom. “Change your clothes, go be hygienic,” Remy ordered and closed the door behind him. 

“Is… uh, what’s going on?” Virgil asked, and Logan heard the movie get paused through the door as he changed obediently. 

“Lo’s just out of it. I’m making sure he does the stuff he would surely forget to do while bein’ a giant idiot,” Remy explained. 

“I… think he would _resent_ that?” Virgil said curiously. 

“Not right now,” Remy chuckled heartily. “Isn’t that right, babe?” Remy called through the door. Logan laughed, but he wasn’t sure why. Logan followed orders in the bathroom to the sound of Remy’s muffled humming through the door. Logan came out, changed into his pyjamas, and latched on to Remy. 

“Bed,” Logan whined, trying to pull Remy with him towards the bed to lie down.

“Babe,” Remy rolled his eyes, staunchly standing still instead of following. Logan pouted when yanking him didn’t work. 

“Is he… okay? He’s not like… drugged or something, is he?” Virgil asked, sounding deeply concerned. 

“What kind of party did you two head off to?” Toby asked angrily, glaring at Remy. Logan stuck his tongue out at Toby for making that face at Remy. Remy seemed amused, though, and not offended. Logan tried yanking Remy again by both arms. 

“I don’t live here,” Remy chuckled, getting dragged along the floor towards the bed as Logan wanted. 

“But he’s okay, right?” Virgil asked more intensely, staring at Remy desperately.

“O’course he’s fine,” Remy snickered. “Lo, why don’t you have a glass of water for y’worried roommate,” Remy lead Logan over to the water filter on his desk, past the bed. Logan shrugged and picked up his bottle, downing it quickly. He had no qualms with that. 

“Now, bed,” Logan tugged at Remy again, back towards the bed. 

“Logan, are you okay?” Virgil furrowed his eyebrows. Logan looked over to Virgil in confusion. He thought what he was doing was obvious. 

“No, Remy won’t lay down with me,” Logan whined, pulling at Remy’s arm. 

“He’s still kinda drunk and bein’ a little needy, I guess,” Remy shrugged, still standing firmly in place while Logan yanked at his arm ineffectively. 

“Bed!” Logan whined louder, pouting at Remy. Remy rolled his eyes but didn’t move still. 

“Logan, why do you want Remy to go to bed with you?” Virgil narrowed his eyes, looking pissed. Why was Virgil upset? 

“Warm,” Logan muttered, leaning against Remy. He was too tired to fight and pull at Remy anymore and just pushed against him. Remy laughed and pressed a kiss to Logan’s forehead. “Please?” Logan begged quietly, looking up to him. 

“Lo, babe, you gotta answer properly ‘fore V kills me,” Remy said sweetly, rubbing the back of Logan’s head. 

“M’fine. Tired. Want warm boyfriend,” Logan pulled Remy into his arms. “Please?” He begged again.

“When did you start dating him?” Virgil asked disbelievingly. 

“Asked out at dinner. Sh, no more questions, bed,” Logan tugged at Remy’s torso with the last of his strength. Remy laughed, kicking off his shoes as Logan pulled him closer to bed. 

“Toby, if I fall asleep, will you wake me up when you head home?” Remy asked, sounding amused with the situation.

“You’re an insomniac,” Toby said incredulously as Logan crawled into bed.

“Lo’s a good sleepin’ pill,” Remy followed Logan under the blankets and laid flat. Logan curled against him hurriedly and he was so warm and he smelled a little like beer and pizza, but Logan didn’t care, he wanted the warmth. 

“Wait, no, hold on, I’m so confused,” Virgil said, holding up his hands and still sounding angry.

“Good sex. Brain quiet. Sleepy. Enjoy movie. Don’t care if sound on,” Logan announced in an attempt to solve Virgil’s dilemma. He yawned tiredly, rubbing his cheek on Remy’s chest, but his glasses bumped into his face. Remy reached over and took the glasses off his face and put them on the nightstand. 

“I mean, I wasn’t gonna t’kiss and tell, but f’sure,” Remy yawned widely. “Honestly, I’m already driftin’ a bit, you two have fun,” Remy mumbled. It went quiet and Logan looked over to Virgil and Toby, but with his glasses off he had no idea what was happening. 

“Like you,” Logan kissed Remy’s chest and pulled up the blanket more, closing his eyes. 

“Like you, too, dork. Go t’sleep,” Remy said softly, giving Logan a little squeeze with his arm. Logan sighed and enjoyed Remy’s proximity for a few moments before he fell asleep and was taken by oblivion. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do not blame me for that awful homework joke, Ark wanted it. So I put it in.  
> also o///o i can't believe I wrote this aaaaaaaaaaa i could barely edit it. smut returns chapter nine for those of you who are here for it
> 
> more angst and communication next chapter


	7. combustion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Logan isn't in a great headspace to hear what Virgil has to say.

Pounding. Logan’s head was pounding. He did not drink enough water yesterday. Logan rolled to the edge of the small bed and reached under for a bottle of _Pedialyte_ he purchased in case he decided to drink again like the absolute idiot he is. He twisted off the cap and chugged the little bottle and gasped. Logan reached for his glasses and phone blindly. He slid on his glasses and blinked a few times. Ah. 

He had slept through his morning lecture and his phone was dying. He didn’t recall turning off his alarm, but he must have. Shutting off his brain was worth it. If he hurried he could make his next lecture, assuming a shower would revitalize him enough. He didn’t drink nearly as much as he did at that house party, so his hangover isn’t as horrendous today. Maybe a cigarette would help. It was worth it to be human with Remy. 

Moving was very hard. Logan pulled himself out of bed sluggishly and tossed the bottle in the garbage can next to his desk, and chased it with a glass of water. At this time of day, the showers should at least be empty. Logan grunted as he stood up and tried his damnedest to not get too sick while digging a change of clothes for his shower. Logan checked his phone for the time before heading off the showers to try and manage to get to class and take notes. 

— 🔥 —

Logan exhaled in relief as he plugged his laptop back in at his desk. The cigarette helped, but he was really looking forward to playing _Slime Rancher_. The ruins were very diverting and he was trying to catch a quantum slime. He was enjoying the puzzles and pleasant atmosphere more than he wanted to admit out loud, but Virgil had seen him play for hours at this point and wouldn’t bother hiding it. Logan went to go refill his water filter pitcher in the bathroom sink and settled down to play. Other than texting Remy when he got out of class and maybe dinner he had zero intention of doing anything but listening to the nice music and pretending he wasn’t still hungover through escapist entertainment. 

He was returning to the ranch with quantum lemons by the time Virgil came back from his class. Virgil seemed a little flustered, but Logan couldn’t be sure, since he was busy enjoying the simple ruins puzzles. It was mostly just the grunt and the huffy sounds as Virgil set up at his desk that gave Logan that impression. Logan hummed lowly and stifled a yawn.

“Hey, uh, Logan?” Virgil asked nervously and it sounded like it came from right behind Logan. Logan paused the game and looked over to Virgil curiously. 

“Yes?” Logan asked and looked at Virgil who seemed very concerned. “I apologize, am I doing something wrong?” Logan made an equally uneasy expression back at him.

“You really are okay, right?” Virgil asked and wrung his hands. 

“I am fine. I appreciate the concern, but I don’t understand where this is coming from,” Logan furrowed his eyebrows at Virgil. 

“L-last night. You came back with Remy and were acting weird, and well, you used to have this schedule and study a ton, and now you’re drinking and smoking and… well…” Virgil trailed off. 

“I am fine. I was interested in trying new things now that my parents aren’t controlling my time,” Logan explained, furrowing his eyebrows. He wasn’t sure where this concern was coming from. 

“Oh… well, it just seemed like, uh… Remy might have…” Virgil trailed off again, rubbing his arms. “I think maybe I’m reading too much into this,” He muttered sheepishly. Logan narrowed his eyes at Virgil. He didn’t like the implications there. 

“I’m not sure I like what you are insinuating, but perhaps I am also reading too much into your statement. Remy has been nothing but nice since I met him at a party. He asked me out on a date yesterday and I asked him to be my boyfriend. I don’t know what Toby says about Remy, but he’s a gentleman. As much as he tries to hide it I know he’s hurt that Toby doesn’t like him. They possibly got off on the wrong foot. Remy is very different compared to you and Toby but that does not mean he deserves ire,” Logan insisted firmly. 

“ _Sorry_! Sorry,” Virgil held up his hands and shook his head. “I… I guess I overreacted. You were really out of it and he did get you home safe and told me not to let you leave again if you woke up. I dunno, it just… it really seemed like someone drugged you,” Virgil admitted quietly, sounding upset.

“No, I was not drugged. I had too much beer, too much pizza, and we had sex twice. I was very happy and consensually not in my regular state of mind,” Logan said, almost a little pridefully.

“Uh, no kidding. Is he… was it really that good?” Virgil asked, flushing heavily. 

“I wouldn’t be surprised if Remy got a noise complaint,” Logan chuckled to himself. “He is very, very good and makes the cutest noises when you bite his earlobes,” He smirked at the memory and crossed his arms. 

“TMI! TMI!” Virgil held his hands over his ears, bright red and backing up slightly. Virgil was absolutely adorable. 

“I apologize. I have been informed I am somewhat cavalier about sexual relations before,” Logan muttered and Virgil looked down at him, dropping his hands. 

“You were a fuckin’ gay disaster last night, you were bright red and could barely walk! How in the world did you manage to stop to kiss him?” Virgil shot, motioning towards the doorway. 

“It was my first date,” Logan replied defensively. “I do not have much experience with romance and Remy had been teasing me in the hall before I entered the dorm,” He was well aware he was a gay disaster, but Virgil being angry about it wasn’t as comfortable as Remy teasing him over it. 

“Okay, listen, you talk about getting fucked into oblivion like it’s a friendly interaction but you can’t handle flirty teasing?” Virgil groaned. “That’s weird, dude,” He pointed out. 

“That was the exact nature of what Remy was teasing me about,” Logan stated plainly, but he felt his ears turn a little hot.

“Oh, you’re already in the ruins,” Virgil changed the subject hastily, looking at the laptop screen. 

“Please don’t tell me you also expected me to be a ‘blushing virgin’,” Logan rubbed under this glasses nose pads in annoyance. 

“Okay, yeah, maybe, you sure used to dress like one,” Virgil’s shoulders slumped. “I know I shouldn’t make those assumptions but like, did you _see_ you? The only thing up your ass was a stick,” Virgil laughed darkly. 

“Hm, would you like to know what else has been up my ass?” Logan asked teasingly and Virgil turned bright red and buried his face in his hands with a tiny squeak. 

“Ugh! _I’m_ the blushing virgin and maybe don’t talk like that around me if you want me to not have a heart attack,” Virgil groaned in frustration, once again blushing so hard it likely hurt. 

“I apologize, did I go too far?” Logan replied apologetically and reached up to touch him consolingly before he thought better of it. “I often do, I am sorry,” Logan looked down and wrung his hands.

“No, it’s fine, really, it's just, y’know…” Virgil mumbled and held his arms. 

“I really _do not_ know,” Logan shook his head. 

“For most normal humans that stuff is a taboo subject and we’re all ashamed of talking about it,” Virgil exhaled and looked tired.

“Why?” Logan furrowed his eyebrows in confusion.

“I dunno, cultural Christian shaming or something, I just know that talking about sex is _wrong_ ,” Virgil flipped his hand and shrugged. 

“How in the world will you tell your future paramour what you like and don’t like?” Logan furrowed his eyebrows. 

“What? No! This conversation is about you suddenly acting weird lately, not my potentially internalized issues!” Virgil shot defensively, returning to holding his chest. 

“I am simply embracing being a ‘garbage person’, and it has been very educational and entertaining,” Logan shrugged and rolled his eyes.

“What? Why do you think you are a garbage person?” Virgil looked at Logan incredulously. “It’s a bad week at worst,” Virgil motioned to Logan. 

“It has not been a bad week, I have just given up this week,” Logan shrugged. “It has been a bad _semester_ and I am tired,” Logan sighed. 

“You’re seriously just giving up? You paid a hot fifteen grand to be here,” Virgil furrowed his eyebrows and crossed his arms angrily. 

“I’m not smart enough to be here. I will fail out anyway, I am simply enjoying my freedom and being alive. I am still attending classes,” Logan rolled his eyes. 

“I’m pretty certain you were top of your class in high school, I saw all those awards and stuff,” Virgil said pointedly. 

“I supposed I peaked in high school. Truly a pity,” Logan shook his head. 

“Have you considered that maybe your _study habits_ and such don’t work for college classes?” Virgil furrowed his eyebrows and his foot started tapping. 

“I never had to study in high school, if I was really smart as I am ‘supposed’ to be this would be a non-issue. I was just lucky, perhaps,” Logan tilted his head to the side and shrugged with his hands.

“Hoo-boy. Dude. Maybe you need to see a counselor and the tutors,” Virgil motioned aggressively to Logan. 

“There is not a purpose,” Logan shook his head. 

“Yeah, I came to ask if you’re okay because I recognize what’s happening. Why do you think I’m 19?” Virgil said vehemently. 

“You took a gap year to earn spending money for school,” Logan offered his assumption in explanation. 

“No, I had a mental breakdown because the more stressed I got the less I understood the material and it became a self-feeding cycle on top of everything else going on. Though, your mental breakdown has sex and alcohol which is probably more interesting than mine,” Virgil explained evenly, perhaps even a little dismissively, which confused Logan. 

“I’m pretty certain it’s strange to be blase about that,” Logan blinked oddly at Virgil. 

“Yeah, well, you can talk about... _sex_ things and I can talk about hating myself for not being good enough,” Virgil shrugged. “The councilors here aren’t bad. You get two visits a month as part of tuition if you schedule it. It’s almost a waste to not use them. The tutoring lab is also included in our tuition,” Virgil said resolutely, staring Logan down. 

“I can’t see either,” Logan turned away and went back to the game. 

“And why is that?” Virgil kicked the chair back around and Logan didn’t respond. “I’m going to go ahead and guess that asking for help was discouraged in your house, just from the little I’ve heard about your parents,” Virgil said, looking intensely at Logan. 

“Why do you care?” Logan furrowed his brow angrily. 

“Because—” Virgil shot and paused, nervously chewing his lip. “Um, well, because I, uh, don’t want a shitty roommate. You’ve been easy to live with so far,” Virgil trailed off after an intense start. Whatever was the real reason seemed to be meaningful. 

“Ah,” Logan said dispassionately. Virgil could keep his secrets, but since it possibly involved Logan it was somewhat upsetting he wasn’t being informed. 

“Listen, your parents don’t have to know. I can help you with both since I go to both,” Virgil said, locking eyes with Logan, but Logan just stared back at him. There was a knock on the door that made Virgil jump. He sighed and kicked the chair back in position. “I’m not dropping this,” Virgil grumbled, heading over to the door and opened it. 

“Babes!” Remy said happily, followed by Toby looking sheepish as he rubbed his head. Logan shot straight and looked over to Remy with a smile, taking off his headphones and getting up, Remy pulling him into a hug right away. “Decided to come over with Toby, missed you. You’re not too hungover, are ya hon?” Remy lifted up Logan’s chin and moved his head around. 

“No, though I should have drunk more water. I accidentally slept through my first class,” Logan admitted, placing a kiss on Remy’s cheek. 

“Oh, sorry baby, I’ll watch closer next time,” Remy kissed him back and Logan blushed. The first time Remy called him ‘baby’ was a rather heated moment. He also was having a little ‘gay panic’ over a potential next time. He wasn’t entirely sure Remy wasn’t just going to break up with him when he was sober.

“Remy, tell your boyfriend to go to counseling and tutoring,” Virgil said bitterly, motioning to Logan. 

“That’s not a bad idea considerin’ your reaction the last time I brought up classes,” Remy said pointedly, humming. 

“I don’t have enough alcohol for this,” Logan muttered quietly. He didn’t want to have to deal with this. He was acutely aware of how bad he was with dealing with this.

“Yeah, not that you shotgunnin’ those beers weren’t hot and all, but maybe you could use the tutorin’ if you do that just when I bring up how you’re doin’ in school,” Remy rolled his eyes. Logan just grumbled and buried his head in Remy’s chest. “Babe,” Remy said pointedly. “You know I’m a petty bitch and if V says he thinks it’ll help then it wouldn’t hurt to try once,” Remy pulled Logan in tight and ruffled his hair. 

“You can shotgun beers?” Toby asked, sounding baffled. 

“Oh yeah, you bring up tests and I’ve never seen a man drink faster,” Remy laughed and Logan grumbled louder. “Just try it? Please?” Remy asked again and made a pouty face that Logan had zero defenses for. He felt his ears grow hot and buried his face in Remy’s jacket. 

“Fine,” Logan growled into Remy’s chest. 

“Great. I accept the task of houndin’ you because you’re a filthy liar,” Remy kissed Logan’s head and Logan shot a glare at Remy for catching him in his fabrication. “Yeah, I felt your heart-rate jump,” Remy chuckled. “Do you want us out of you two’s hair?” Remy asked Virgil and Toby who were now sitting over at Virgil’s desk. 

“Uh, no, you can stay, it’s Logan’s room, too, and all,” Virgil muttered. Remy raised an eyebrow at him and hummed, sounding interested in something. 

“So what were you up to?” Remy asked, rubbing Logan’s back affectionately. 

“I was playing a video game. I am not sure if it would be fun to watch,” Logan motioned to his laptop, still feeling kind of angry.

“Oh! I forgot, I got you somethin’,'' Remy smiled happily, giving Logan a small squeeze. 

“What? Remy, you do not have to get me gifts,” Logan at him in confusion. 

“No, they’re little, I just think you’d like them. One’s partly for me,” Remy flipping his hand dismissively and letting go of Logan to pull something out of his pocket. “Here. A better lighter, that one is because yours is a piece of shit and I never want to use it again, and a fidget cube,” Remy said, holding out his hand. Logan raised his hand to accept them. It was a quality butane lighter in a silver casing with a brain etched on it. The cube was black and blue with buttons, switches, a joystick, and a rollerball. 

“You seemed interested in pushin’ buttons while you were out of it and you fidget with things often when you’re talking to me. I thought it’d give you somethin’ to do with your hands before you start pickin’ at your nails or somethin’,” Remy explained. Logan looked at them reverently. They were small gifts, but extremely considerate. He smiled and reached up with his other hand to give Remy a kiss. 

“Thank you very much,” Logan said, playing with the joystick on the cube. “That lighter was also bothering me,” Logan chuckled slightly. “I didn’t intend to keep the habit but I will assuredly keep this lighter. The old one I am abandoning at the smoking area,” Logan smiled brightly at him.

“You wanna show me your game?” Remy asked, pressing a kiss to Logan’s head while Logan clicked at the switch curiously. 

“It’s very easy to play if you want to try it,” Logan said brightly. “It looks silly but the game is interesting in its own right,” He added warily. 

“I’ll try anythin’ once,'' Remy shrugged. “I’m not much of a gamer, but I like gettin’ to know what you like better. Maybe we can go see a movie tonight? There’s a new horror-comedy out for Halloween,” Remy offered and Toby seemed to perk up in interest.

“Remy, I do not have those kinds of disposable funds. Movie tickets are $12 and I’ve already nearly surpassed my budget this month,” Logan said seriously. 

“I didn’t say you had to pay,” Remy kissed his head. “I’m happy to pay for you any time,” Remy added. 

“You do not need to waste your money on me. You already got me these very considerate gifts and paid for dinner last night,” Logan objected again. 

“Wastin’ money? On you? Never. I could give you money for a tit job and you spend it on porn and it wouldn’t be ‘wastin’ money’. You really should see a counselor because my standards are high and for some reason, my boyfriend thinks he’s a waste,” Remy held his shoulders and Logan bristled. 

“See, I knew I wasn’t good enough for you,” Logan muttered to himself. 

“Okay, you’re having a bad mental health day and I’m fixing that,” Remy said and backed up into Logan’s bed, pulling Logan with him. “Step one: Quit bein’ a fuckin’ prick to yourself,” Remy sat down, pulling Logan in with him. Remy kicked off his shoes and tugged Logan up and held him tight. “Step two is oxytocin,” Remy pulled him close on top of the covers. 

“You two better not fuck while we’re in here,” Toby rolled his eyes. 

“Are my pants off?” Remy rolled his eyes back at him with even more fervor. Logan grumbled and shifted into Remy’s arms. “Tell me you have value,” He ordered. 

“You have value,” Logan parroted. 

“I will bite you and not in the _fun_ way,” Remy narrowed his eyes at Logan. 

“I have value,” Logan sighed. Remy pulled him close on his chest. 

“Great job, baby, you internalize that while I cuddle you,” Remy ordered and ruffled at Logan’s hair. Logan rolled his eyes in exasperation, but he did like being close to Remy. He wasn’t a fan that both Virgil and Remy were bothering him about this. How do they not see he isn’t supposed to be here? He probably also shouldn’t have landed such a hot boyfriend. He was just lucky and he didn’t deserve this stuff and he couldn’t keep it up. “I feel you tensin’ up,” Remy said chidingly. “The fuck you thinkin’ about,” He asked sharply. Logan bristled and buried his face. “Yeah, I thought so. Whatever you were thinkin’ was probably wrong. Step one: quit bein’ a prick to yourself,” Remy said firmly. 

“Fuckin’ _go off_ , Remy!” Virgil called from across the room and Logan groaned loudly. 

“Thanks, babe,” Remy laughed and it shook Logan. He blinked a few times in confusion. “Okay, what things do you like doin’ to get that over-thinkin’ thing to quiet down a bit,” Remy asked and softly stroked his back. 

“I like spending time with you,” Logan supplied softly. 

“You’re a sweetheart, but I’m talkin’ about hobbies,” Remy kissed his head. 

“Picking up men at parties and fucking them in the library,” Logan deadpanned and Remy broke out laughing, cackling hard, holding Logan tight and shaking him with his laughter. It sounded like there was a squeak from Virgil while Toby scoffed.

“Okay, you got me, what do you _actually_ like to do,” Remy chuckled and caught his breath.

“How do you not know your own boyfriend’s hobbies?” Toby asked incredulously. 

“Didn’t come up. I know lots of little things, but Logan avoids talking about himself like the plague,” Remy rolled his eyes. 

“I don’t know much about you either,” Logan huffed. 

“Hey, I didn’t say I was any better. I happen to like a little mystery,” Remy shrugged dismissively. 

“I can surmise that you are affluent, do not get along with your parents, have no siblings, and I suspect your major is one of the social sciences. You are also clearly avoiding something about yourself but I do not know what,” Logan supplied. 

“Okay, how the fuck did you do that?” Remy asked, sounding baffled.

“They are just observations,” Logan stated plainly. “Based on the way you handle things, but we did touch on a few subjects the night we met,” Logan provided. He wouldn't mind knowing more about Remy, but Logan liked what he knew and he certainly wasn't any better about talking about himself. 

“Oh, do it on V and Toby!” Remy said excitedly, patting Logan’s shoulder. 

“It is distasteful to talk about people when they are in the room and not in the conversation,” Logan rejected the idea with furrowed eyebrows. 

“No, no, I’m curious,” Toby piped up from across the room. 

“It is also distasteful to _listen in_ on other’s conversations,” Logan announced slightly louder than talking level and rolled his eyes while he huffed in frustration.

“The room is like 150 square feet, it’s not like you don’t listen to us,” Toby objected defensively, crossing his arms. 

“I turn up whatever I am listening to so I do not intrude,” Logan provided, shaking his head. 

“Damn, that’s polite as fuck,” Remy tittered and rubbed Logan’s back. 

“I thought it was common courtesy,” Logan responded in confusion. 

“Come on, air their dirty laundry,” Remy prodded him to do it once more. He didn’t feel like fighting it any longer. He couldn’t believe that he was currently the most polite person in the room. 

“Fine. Toby has many siblings and he is older among them, is a design major, and despite a few bumps probably had a very happy childhood. He believes in the supernatural and has dark humor. I suspect that someone from high school has been bothering him recently, perhaps an old paramour,” Logan replied with the information he’d gleaned. 

“You came for his got damn wig, huh,” Remy tittered. 

“Toby is not wearing a wig,” Logan furrowed his eyebrows and glanced over to Toby. He looked pissed for some reason. 

“No, wig snatched. What the fuck dude, we don’t even talk to each other, how do you know all that shit? Are you stalking me or something?” Toby asked angrily, glowering a Logan. 

“Ah, see, defensive. I assume one of his childhood issues was something in the nature of his self-perception vs. his actual self,” Logan responded and motioned to Toby. 

“Seriously, are you stalking me?” Toby shot, much louder than necessary, and leaned forward as if to get up.

“You practically live here, why would he have t’stalk you?” Remy replied angrily. Toby bristled and shrunk back a bit.

“No, it is simply what I have gleaned from your mannerisms, actions, hobbies, and conversations I was not discluded from,” Logan explained, shaking his head. 

“Okay, I’ll bite, do me,” Virgil piped up, sounding interested. 

“I’d love to,” Remy whispered and Logan snickered at the double entendre. 

“Hey!” Virgil shot sourly. 

“No, Virgil, it was simply dirty humour, we were not making fun of you,” Logan reassured him consolingly. 

“Fine,” Virgil huffed. “Still, do it. I want to know,” He added after a moment of bristling. 

“We live together, Virgil, why would I not know about you?” Logan asked, not understanding the point of this exercise. 

“Because we didn’t even start talking until recently,” Virgil waved his arm out between the two of them. 

“You are very anxious, you are from a small family, child of divorce, you’re a library sciences major but you would like to minor in music. You didn’t have many friends in high school and you are afraid the ones you had are drifting away. I have a very similar fear. You also have dark humor like Toby and share his interest in shrouded mysteries. You seem to do well in classes despite your trepidation before tests, which I find confusing,” Logan supplied a random selection of things he knew about Virgil. 

“That’s the tutoring and the OSD,” Virgil provided airily. “Also, I’m glad I’m not the only one afraid of that,” Virgil added quietly. 

“College is time-consuming and when you don’t see your bitches on the daily it’s easy to let relationships slip, babe, it’s not your fault or anythin’. Just message ‘em often and you can say you tried your best no matter what happens,” Remy suggested, shifting Logan so he could card his fingers through Logan’s hair. Logan absolutely melted at that and it surprised him. It was tingly in one of the best ways. He thought this exercise was somewhat futile, but Logan was starting to feel better. Socializing was a welcome distraction and he would never object to being held by Remy anymore. 

“Well, you’ve called us all out, call yourself out so we can restore the balance between the nations,” Toby demanded, waving his hand bitterly. 

“Restore balance to the nations?” Logan furrowed his eyebrows for a moment but Remy ran his nails across Logan’s scalp and he couldn’t maintain the expression long. 

“It’s a cartoon reference,” Remy rolled his eyes while Logan sighed contentedly. 

“I mean, maybe it would help,” Virgil muttered, rubbing his arm. 

“I don’t care if you are cute, no making Lo upset when his head is botherin’ him,” Remy stated firmly and pulled Logan close again. 

“It’s fine, Remy,” Logan grumbled into his chest. “I failed three tests and clearly made it into university on a fluke. There. Is that satisfactory?” Logan said darkly. 

“You graduated with honours!” Virgil shot in objection. “I saw your graduation photo, I know you did!” He insisted once more.

“I assume that was also in error,” Logan stated sourly. Remy groaned and pulled Logan’s wallet out of his pocket. “What are you doing?” Remy tossed it across the room to Virgil. 

“Sign his ass for counselin’, please, I don’t know his class schedule,” Remy requested airily, looking for Virgil who barely managed to catch Logan’s wallet. 

“You aren’t allowed to do that,” Logan objected angrily, but Remy held him close instead of letting him get up to retrieve his wallet. 

“Yeah, you aren’t allowed to pirate movies on the internet connection either, whoop-de-doo,” Virgil said derisively, twisting his finger in the air. 

“You’re goin’,'' Remy demanded firmly, looking at Logan with a pointed expression. Logan shrunk a little under his intense gaze. “If you can get it durin’ a time frame I can drag mister impostor syndrome there, even better,” Remy added, looking over to Virgil. 

“I do not have impostor syndrome,” Logan muttered, not feeling the ability to fight back anymore even though he was still bitter. He thought he was doing better, at least, perhaps it was just another thing he was wrong about. 

“You were right about the social sciences, babe, I’m a psych major,” Remy ran his nails back through Logan’s hair. “And while I can’t diagnose you or anythin’, but you’ve sure got the signs,” He said blithely, carding through Logan’s hair, stopping every time he hit the loose bun of hair and starting over. 

“Ah, so you like me because I’m a headcase, now that makes more sense,” Logan drawled sardonically. Remy glared at him and bopped him on the head. It didn’t hurt, but it was distracting nonetheless. Logan blinked a few times at Remy. 

“No, bad brain! You settle down with that shit!” Remy said resolutely and pulled up Logan to kiss his head. “I like you because you like me for me and appreciate _me_ as a person. People rarely do and just use me for my connections or recourses. There, spilled my own tea. You _are_ smart, pulling that sherlock shit on us. I think you’re cute, funny, and I like that you’re secretly playful under all that stiff,” Remy motioned circularly with his hand. “Make the happy juice,” pointedly at Logan’s head, then kissed it again. 

“Remy’s free then,” Toby pointed out from across the room. Logan couldn’t believe the audacity.

“Fuck all of you!” Logan said loudly and Remy pulled Logan up and pressed a kiss into his lips hard. Logan was angry for a hot second but Remy’s hand skirted his face and held him close and he didn’t feel like being obstinate much longer. He was still bitter, but the soft affectionate touches were pulling him away from that mindset slowly. 

“God, don’t make out over there,” Toby said and Logan held up his middle finger. 

“It’s fine, Toby,” Virgil said, sounding embarrassed. “They’re going to take us to that horror comedy this evening to make up for it right?” Virgil asked hopefully. Remy held up his thumb with one hand and held Logan’s head so he couldn’t pull back and object with the other. Damn crafty boyfriend with the soft lips and the beautiful eyes and… whatever. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Virgil finally called out Logan wooooo


	8. blaze

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Logan is stressed, but he's found a new way to alleviate it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reminder you can skip over Self-Harm. When you see the □ jump to the ■ at the end of the second paragraph. Stay Safe!

Logan sighed on the bench in the smoking area, happy to be out of classes for the day. He pulled out his cigarettes and lighter and flipped open the cap on the lighter, which made a surprisingly satisfying noise. After putting the clove in his mouth and with a single spin of the small wheel, the new lighter lit up with a strong flame. He pulled and closed it up with another delightful noise and drew a nice spicy puff. Logan hummed in dissatisfaction and exhaled. This wasn’t right.

He took another hopeful, languid draw at the cigarette. No, nothing but smooth and warm smoke. Smoking didn’t hurt anymore. He wasn’t particularly pleased with that. It was oddly comforting, so maybe he’ll still smoke with Remy, but there was no point in smoking alone anymore. He was antsy without the nice pain for his stupid brain’s stupid brain bullshit, but the clove cigarette helped a little. Logan looked at the time on his phone. Remy was in class still today. Virgil and Toby were probably at the dorm soon. Logan took another long inhale and closed his eyes. He clicked at the fidget cube in his pocket while he thought. 

Maybe it was a good thing that cigarettes didn’t burn anymore. Maybe he was being out of hand. He wasn’t sure. Nothing felt out of hand. All these things were obvious to him, and he wasn’t sure why the others didn’t understand that. Things just felt better and were easier to deal with when he wasn’t thinking. He wanted to not _think_ , and he felt the pain was warranted. Perhaps he didn’t. Nobody deserved to hurt. He knew it was an overreaction, rationally, but his mind seemed to war about it. 

Logan placed the cigarette between his lips and withdrew the cube from his pocket to play with it with both hands. He enjoyed the buttons, Remy was correct. He played with it while taking notes during the lecture, and he thought he might have actually absorbed part of it for the first time in over a week. Logan didn’t realize how much anxious energy he had until he had an outlet for it. Virgil might have been on to something about being too stressed to take in the materials. He still felt as if he didn’t deserve to be here, but he enjoyed having an explanation as to why he suddenly couldn’t learn from lectures when it was all he needed in the past. It just sounded like an excuse.

He let out a puff of smoke from the side of his mouth and picked the cigarette back out. He still didn’t need to see the counselor, but perhaps he could give in and see the tutors just to catch up on what he missed. It’s like… makeup work. As if Logan was out sick. Maybe that wasn’t so bad… This was more rationalization to explain Logan’s failures.

Coming up with excuses just to convince himself to go made him feel stupid and weak. He did not want to give in and attend tutoring. He was always told getting help was giving up, and he had to do the work himself if he wanted to learn. But he wasn’t learning right now, and he had stopped attempting to push himself already. 

□ Logan was a failure. He had given up on himself and broke every rule and was now trying to convince himself it was okay to get help. It wasn’t okay. Nothing about Logan was okay. He puffed at the cigarette, pulling it to the filter with a long exhale. Logan examined the smouldering filter for a moment. He wasn’t that stupid, right? Logan wouldn’t do that. Just because he could think of another way to hurt himself with a cigarette didn’t mean he had to do it. Damnit. He was that stupid. Logan lifted his shirt slightly and pressed it into his side. The filter had partly cooled, but he still hissed in pain for the half-second that he pressed it into his skin.

He tossed the butt into the ashtray and sighed in relief. It burned deeply, and the pain wasn’t going away. His brain was quiet to the pain. He didn’t have to do anything. Perhaps there was a reason to keep smoking alone, after all. Logan got up and slid his hands into his pockets. He played with the cogs on the fidget cube while he headed back to the dorm. In theory, he should wash this out and apply aloe vera. In theory. Logan trudged to his dorm, enjoying the evening air and the pain-blocking out his head from doing any more damage to him. ■

Back at the dorm, Logan plugged in his laptop and settled down at the desk. He had to write an English essay, but he had started _Astroneer_ and was interested in playing further. If he could research his supporting arguments expeditiously and draft it up, he could work on the second draft after playing for a few hours before dinner. The rest of his homework could wait.

Logan grabbed his textbook and flipped open to the story to examine. If he collected notes while reading on possible themes, he could save time. The professor also mentioned a certain theme and so far they wanted their own arguments reworded back to them in papers, so he already had a sound basis for the essay, he just needed to find a feasible thesis. Logan chewed on the back of the pen while he recorded observations and read. The story was depressing at best, and the symbolism was in your face on top of being paced slowly. Generally not an enjoyable read. At least Logan knew any time they described a colour, it was a safe bet to use. He took notes on the symbols, locations, and potential meanings. 

He didn’t care how the essay was interpreted. It was all terribly subjective. He intended to only pick which meanings fit his thesis best. He also skimmed _spark notes_ to make sure to avoid the points it argued, because the teacher was very aggressive about taking points off for that. At least this class was formulaic and simple, and he was capable of keeping up with the work for it. All the others were his issue. 

Virgil came back while Logan was compiling his notes to start drafting. Logan paused to see if Virgil wanted to talk to him, but Virgil just sat down at his desk and put on his headphones. Logan was glad, honestly. He wasn’t in the mood to socialize. He just wanted to draft this stupid thing and space out. 

He didn’t intend to, but Logan stumbled across a good thesis with enough context to back up while he started the draft, so he wouldn’t just have to bullshit his way through the paper. He had already plowed through to the second draft without meaning to. The words came out easily, and he barely realized how far he got until he reviewed what he wrote. He stretched out and yawned, relatively satisfied with himself for doing okay for once with his homework. Logan took a drink of water and loaded up _Astroneer_ to play. He enjoyed exploring the alien planet for a while. 

Toby came in while he was working. Toby had that group project later, and he had unsurprisingly not finished his portion yet. Not that Logan was in any place to judge. Logan did his work, but not that well. Virgil and Toby worked on homework in silence near each other, which looked amiable. 

He didn’t see Remy yesterday and barely saw him the day before. Logan missed his mischievous smile. It would have been nice to lean up against Remy or something akin to that while he was reading. He deeply missed all the casual contact that came from Patton in high school. 

Logan glanced at Virgil, who was nervously chewing on his thumbnail, looking stressed and confused. Logan could relate, though Virgil looked more distressed than Logan currently felt. Admittedly Logan was playing video games, but Logan tended to… ‘abandon ship’ before Virgil did when it came to stress. Virgil was much stronger than Logan. 

Virgil likely also needed a break from this with the state of his pencil, but Logan would not risk pointing that out to him. Virgil thought Logan’s drinking and having sexual interactions were part of some manner of mental health spiral and would conceivably be opposed to any of Logan’s suggestions. Logan was having fun, which was new and exciting, so he didn’t see how that applied. _Astroneer_ was entertaining, too, though differently. Logan wasn’t aware there were so many ways to have fun, which hit him like a brick originally, but he was just grateful for the freedom now. 

The burn shifted from searing to itching, so Logan finally got up to use the restroom and clean off any soot. He took a wet rag and pressed it into the burn, patting at it in an attempt to lift debris instead of rubbing it in. It stung, as anticipated, and Logan sighed as he flinched from the pain of the last press. He rinsed off the rag and hung it to dry. They didn’t have a salve for it in the dorm, because Logan was an idiot and assumed he wouldn’t get a burn in the dorms where all fire was banned, but that was fine. As long as he didn’t do it again. He was just being weak and regretted it now. 

Logan returned to playing his video game while he wasted his time until dinner. He had gotten used to going when the dining hall was about to close. He cared little for the selection of food, so he wasn’t concerned with limited choices and he preferred eating with Virgil. Logan used to stubbornly go at 6 PM, but going with Virgil was more pleasant. He found he didn’t enjoy eating alone. It felt too much like when Patton stayed home with the flu and couldn’t eat with Logan during lunch, or even worse when he just ate alone in the massive cafeteria because others found his personality blunt. Logan didn’t find others particularly genial towards him, so it didn’t feel it was a problem until recently. Now eating alone just made him feel empty. 

A text from Remy pulled him from the game. There was mention of a present for Logan that he would appreciate. Logan groaned at Remy spending more money for him, but the invite to come over was nice. Logan made it back to his base to save and informed Remy he would come. Remy sent the floor and dorm number with a few incomprehensible emojis. Logan smiled at them, anyway, despite not comprehending the sequence. 

“I will see you later, I am headed out to see Remy,” Logan nodded to Virgil as he picked up his keys and made sure he had everything else. 

“Yeah, okay, whatever,” Virgil grumbled, not looking up from his work. Logan headed out and locked up behind him. He took the stairs down and was surprised to see that it might rain when he got outside and looked at the sky. It was sunny when he got out of class. The weather has been mercurial lately. Logan hurried up to Remy’s dorm, hoping it would not be raining upon his return. 

When Remy opened the door to his dorm after Logan’s hurried knocking, Logan couldn’t stop himself from throwing his arms around Remy’s torso and hugging him. 

“Woah! Somebody missed me!” Remy exclaimed when he stumbled back a step. He hugged Roman and pushed him into the room to close the door. 

“I did,” Logan smiled at him. “It’s wonderful to see you again,” Logan reached out and kissed Remy’s knuckles. 

“Jeez, babe, it’s been a few days tops. We _do_ have classes and shit,” Remy scoffed, but turned a little pink in flattery. 

“I am aware, but I much prefer your company even if we are just completing assignments in silence. You have a wonderful presence,” Logan pulled Remy in for another hug. 

“Quit flirtin’ with me and let me tell you what I got,” Remy whined, but he didn’t resist the hug. 

“Remy, I do not require gifts,” Logan insisted, tempted to pull back and look judgmentally at Remy, but his arms were so warm that Logan couldn’t bring himself to separate from Remy. 

“It’s for me, too. Come on, this is how I know how to show my love,” Remy rolled his eyes and kissed Logan’s hair. Remy chuckled and backed up towards the desk with Logan being dragged along with him. Remy let go of Logan to grab something, but Logan did not. 

“I do not need gifts, I enjoy simply being around you,” Logan reiterated, burying his face in Remy’s chest. 

“Well, I need to give them. Get over it,” Remy guided Logan over towards the bed. 

“I… didn’t think about it that way,” Logan admitted, feeling fairly surprised by that explanation. 

“You are a clingy motherfucker. I didn’t see that comin’, honestly,” Remy pushed Logan over into the bed, his knees giving and it forced him to sit down on the bed. 

“I apologize for making you uncomfortable,” Logan looked down to the floor and chewed his lip. 

“No, I kinda like it. It’s new, but not a bad thing,” Remy sat next to him on the bed and leaned into Logan. Logan happily leaned towards him. Remy held out an orange prescription bottle with no stickers on it. Logan accepted the bottle in confusion. 

“Marijuana?” Logan rotated the container curiously. “Forgive me, but I am befuddled by that at best,” Logan shook it a little and stared at the buds in the medication bottle. 

“You said you were collectin’ bad habits, so this was the next logical step,” Remy laughed, taking back the bottle. “I have a vape, it should keep the smell low if we toke in the bathroom. You like shuttin’ off your brain so this should be right up your alley,” Remy explained. Logan tilted his head to the side in consideration and nodded. Remy wasn’t wrong on any account. He just hadn’t anticipated this. 

“Sounds delightful,” Logan pressed his cheek into Remy’s shoulder. He was always happy to spend time with Remy, but he didn’t mind more chances to be a flawed human. It did seem to be the next logical step, as well. Any chance to turn off his brain was greatly appreciated as it was.

“No time like the present, yeah?” Remy asked, shaking the small pill container. 

“Agreed,” Logan nodded and pressed a kiss on Remy’s bicep. He could use the painkiller for his burn as well. 

“I got us some water and snacks already,” Remy said, motioning to the bag on his desk chair. “Lemme get the vape. I’ll go first and show you how if you haven’t tried it before,” He kissed Logan’s head back and got up from his bed, pulling out a lockbox from under it and extracting a small black box and a glass tube. “C’mon,” Remy offered his hand to take and pulled Logan with him into the small dorm bathroom. 

He shut the door behind him and switched on the fan before opening the bottle and putting a small amount of marijuana in a small circular grinder. Remy worked fast while Logan leaned against the wall watching, and the vape was loaded up swiftly. Remy clicked it on and leaned back on the wall with Logan, watching a small set of lights on the side. 

“Okay, go slow as you can, hold it, and exhale slow into the runnin’ sink water,” Remy ordered him, and the light switched to green. Logan watched as Remy followed his own advice. He had a large lung capacity with how long he could hold. Remy flipped on the sick faucet and exhaled into the sink with a steady stream of smoke. “Alright, go ahead,” Remy passed over the vape and Logan took it carefully. 

He did his best to emulate Remy, though he couldn’t mirror him perfectly. The smoke was sharp on the back of his throat and Logan’s breath caught and he had to release early to cough into the sink water. 

“Doin’ great, baby. Go ahead and finish that hit,” Remy motioned to the vaporizer and Logan pulled again to finish it off. It wasn’t as hard now that he anticipated it. He didn’t expect it to burn since smoking cigarettes no longer did.

Remy took it when Logan was done and drew out the glass tube and cleaned it right away while Logan relaxed against the wall once more. Remy left the fan on and ushered Logan out of the bathroom hastily. He closed the door behind him to trap in the smell. Logan returned to sit on Remy’s bed while Remy sprayed air freshener right outside the bathroom. Remy joined him a moment later. Logan leaned against Remy happily.

“Is there anything I should be cautious of?” Logan questioned and coughed twice from using his raw throat. Remy leaned forward and fished a _Gatorade_ out of the bag and handed it to Logan. Logan took a grateful swig for his raw throat, and Remy stole the drink right after to do the same before answering. Remy chucked the bottle on the bed near them.

“Nah, I’ll keep an eye out for you,” Remy smiled and reached up to pet Logan’s hair. “Just let it do its job and shut off that big brain of yours,” Remy whispered and Logan closed his eyes to enjoy the gentle sensation of Remy’s fingers in his hair. “You have long hair,” Remy hummed. 

“It is only shoulder blade length, though, the hairstyle is just deceiving,” Logan muttered.

“Well, you rock the loose man-bun. Not a lotta people can pull it off,” Remy ran his nails gently across Logan’s scalp and Logan sighed in contentment. “Can I take out the hair tie? I wanna see it down,” Remy asked, tugging gently at his hair. Logan nodded, and Remy hooked his finger into the hair tie and dragged it out gradually. Logan gathered it from his fingers and slipped it around his wrist. Remy fluffed out Logan’s hair with his fingers and Logan looked to him curiously. 

“So?” Logan asked nervously. 

“Damn, girl, your hair is shinier than mine,” Remy sounded impressed and kept playing with Logan’s hair. Logan melted into the touch. “Good genes or good conditioner?” Remy asked. 

“Both, perhaps,” Logan hummed with contentment. Remy’s fingers felt so good in his hair. 

“It looks good. My hair doesn’t like growin’ too long, I’m a lil’ jealous,” Remy kissed Logan’s temple and Logan shifted under Remy’s arm to hug him from the side. “You’d look good with one of those long top undercut styles, too,” He added. 

“Those are very popular with my cousins, they are more on top of Filipino fashion than I am, but I was informed my hair was still in style the last time we video called. They did make fun of my attire, but I can’t blame them. I’d like to try new things now, too,” Logan shrugged. 

“How’re y’feeling?” Remy asked softly, pulling his nails through Logan’s hair again. 

“Good. A little foggy. Is that normal?” Logan replied, pulling his arms around Remy a little tighter. 

“Yeah, that’s normal baby, I got you,” Remy hummed happily. “Don’t worry about it, you’ll prolly forget about it bein’ weird in a moment,” He added. Logan nestled into his warm boyfriend happily and tried to let it go. Remy said he had this, and Logan trusted Remy more than he trusted himself. “Whatcha thinkin’ ‘bout?” Remy asked after a pause. 

“That you’re warm,” Logan responded comfortably. “Also that your accent gets heavier in altered states. Do you attempt to lessen it?” Logan had been curious about that for a few days, now. 

“Ah, hell, I been caught,” Remy chortled softly. “Nah, I guess it jus’ brings out th’ southern in me. That creole accent sticks ‘round for a time,” Remy explained in a thick southern accent. “I did use to fight it, but the drawl never fully went away even after the rest did,” Remy sounded more like he normally did this time.

“I think your voice is wonderful to listen to. It’s so graceful and mellow,” Logan cooed affectionately. “I wish I could hear you talk all the time,” He added, squeezing Remy a bit with a hug. “I am told I can speak stiffly, and that is unpleasant,” Logan lamented. 

“I like it. Makes you sound confident an’ educated. You drop all them twenty-dollar words like candy,” Remy smiled, moving from running his fingers along Logan’s scalp to scratching at his neck, and it sent a pleasant tingle dancing down Logan’s spine. 

“Thank you. It’s just how I was taught to talk by my father. He believed formal English was the best way to communicate. I consider all forms of communication equal, personally, though I am admittedly baffled by some phrases and slang at times,” Logan admitted humorously. 

“Breakin’ away from y’parents mould can be hard,” Remy nodded in agreement. “Not to bring up classes an’ all, but I bet you crush it at English essays,” He posited off-handedly.

“It is my best class right now,” Logan sighed quietly. Remy’s fingers gently carding through his hair was incredibly relaxing. “You seem to be drawn to my hair, your hand seems to find it’s way there often,” Logan accused lightly, closing his eyes and listening to Remy’s heartbeat. It was a little accelerated but steady. 

“It’s soft and I just like th’ feel. It’s that hair envy,” Remy seemed bemused with the idea. 

“Your hair is fantastic, Remy. The curls are healthy and it looks very stylish,” Logan said, pushing his head into Remy’s chest. 

“It don’t wanna grow much, though, and it’s high maintenance,” Remy bemoaned half-heartedly. 

“It possibly is growing but the coils are too tight to see the true length, just like wearing my hair up disguises my hair length,” Logan suggested, pulling himself up off of Remy’s chest, “May I?” Logan asked and Remy nodded. Logan gently pulled a coil and eyeballed its length straightened out. It bounced back into shape when he released it. “I would say roughly short of a foot even though it looks to be 3-4 inches while coiled,” Logan shifted back down to cuddle him. “It also feels luxuriant,” He pressed his ear to Remy’s heart to listen to the soft, steady beat.

“No shit,” Remy hummed. “Wow,” He sounded in awe as he pulled at his coils. “Also thanks, it takes lots o’product t’keep it like that,” Remy thanked him contentedly. “I guess that means y’have a good few inches on me still.” 

“Ah, well, I have been growing out my hair since middle school,” Logan shrugged disinterestedly, feeling the soft material of Remy’s shirt. “How do you keep your clothes so soft?” Logan whispered reverently, rubbing Remy’s back through the shirt. 

“They just rich people clothes,” Remy chuckled in his throat. “Also, you’re prolly feelin’ it,” He clutched Logan with a hug. 

“Yes, I am feeling your shirt,” Logan blinked in confusion and Remy broke out laughing. 

“You’re the fuckin’ cutest lil’ nerd y’know that?” Remy’s hand slipped under Logan’s shirt and felt his skin. “How’s that angry brain o’yours?” Remy inquired as he ran his fingertips along the bumps of Logan’s spine. 

“Off, mostly, other than strange and pointless ponderances,” Logan loved the feel of Remy’s hand on his skin and the heat coming from it. 

“That’s also normal,” Remy laughed boisterously, reaching his other hand to take Logan’s free hand. Logan grinned into Remy’s arm. 

“You feel nice,” Logan mumbled into Remy’s torso. “Thank you,” He skid his hand under Remy’s shirt as well. 

“Anything for you, baby,” Remy purred and his deep timbre felt like it resonated in his core. 

“I like not feeling as regretful,” Logan mumbled as he felt Remy’s warm skin.

“What are y’regretting?” Remy asked curiously. Logan didn’t want to suffer that further, and he would rather drop the subject. He felt smooth and mellow and didn’t want to stress out repeatedly. He was happy to not feel like Virgil’s chewed-up pencils for once. 

“Oh, we should invite Virgil,” Logan opened his eyes in realization. “He was stressed today, too. He could like this,” Logan shifted to get up and pulled out his phone. 

“Huh, wait, what? Lo—” Remy started, gripping on to Logan. 

“There!” Logan declared happily, tossing his phone on Remy’s bed and settling back into Remy’s side. “You are warm and cozy and I want to feel you forever,” He cooed. 

“Babe,” Remy groaned. “Did you seriously invite Virgil over? Toby would come with and we’re not supposed to get high in here, Toby might tell on me,” Remy objected. 

“Toby is at his group project right now. Virgil should be alone, and he did not tell me about my drinking so he will not tell us about our smoking,” Logan nodded, rubbing just over Remy’s heart. “You have a marvellous chest,” He added, running his fingers across it.

“Not snitchin’ on drinking elsewhere and not snitchin’ ‘bout smoking in the dorms are different stories, baby,” Remy chided but sounded distracted as Logan ran his fingers across Remy’s chest. 

“Well, I only told him to come over to help his anxiety. We don’t have to disclose that particular detail,” Logan blindly reached to pass his phone to Remy to show him what he texted. 

“Oh, he sent question marks back,” Remy laughed and pulled Logan into his arms again, dropping the phone next to him. “We might get a visitor then, just outta confusion. ‘Alleviate some stress and tension’ is the nerdiest sext I ever seen,” Remy laughed. 

“It was not intended as a sext. Virgil was very stressed today,” Logan furrowed his eyebrows. 

“Well, we’ll see what he thinks when he gets here, since he said he’s coming over to check on you,” Remy smirked, pointing at the phone alert on the screen. 

“I bet he also has soft hair,” Logan murmured and nestled closer to Remy. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> >:3c ~ _shenanigans impending_ ~  
> edited by the gay trio themselves

**Author's Note:**

> 🔥 Conflagration Playlist 🔥
> 
> Questions, comments, concerns, incoherent screaming, quotes you just liked, theories, and memes all welcome in the comment section below. Even an extra <3 kudos is greatly appreciated! I am emotionally validated by inbox notifications. As this story is explicit, I do not anticipate much interaction, but I hope you enjoy it! And by enjoy it, I mean suffer. Because Angst. Or maybe enjoy it because wow there's like so much smut in this and that's what you're looking for, which is also valid. If it would not be incredibly terrifying to leave a comment or a kudos on this fic, I would really appreciate it and would love to hear from you! 
> 
> [Story Discord Server](https://discord.gg/ThcDBSP)
> 
> If you would be interested in biding your time between updates with some of my other fics, I have some recommendations of my fics based on the themes in this one! Are you interested very specifically in whump porn with a happy(ish) ending? [Break](https://archiveofourown.org/series/1760686) may be for you. Are you feeling angst, not being good enough, recovery, school issues? Try [Dreaming While I Wake](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23748232). How about escapist party idiots who refuse to interact with reality? [Painful Death for the Lactose Intolerant](https://archiveofourown.org/series/1687501) might be the nonsense for you. How about a spicy three-way relationship that also contains alcohol and drugs? [From Rock Bottom](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24318331/chapters/58627531) is the short for you. Want a less spicy (but still kind of spicy), mostly fluff, polyamorous relationship? [Plea for my New Self](https://archiveofourown.org/works/22807720) is the gay vampire palate cleanser for you! Finally, if you just want that angst, no fillers, check out [Slopes](https://archiveofourown.org/works/29496978) to suffer. Have a lovely day!


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